Oddly enough. I’ve seen someone like that up close in real life. Complete with the dog and everything. IN A BAR.

Anyway, this is brilliant. Why stay in Barbie’s shadow when you can be SO MUCH MORE FABULOUS. Fuck her and her 186 jobs. Whatever.

Order yours today here.

I can’t get down with Google Latitude.

But why? You ask. You so readily open your life up already. Why not add another aspect to this blogging/twitter/tumblr/brightkite madness?

I have to tell you the truth. Cuz I lie. A lot.

Sometimes I’ll be at home cuz I don’t want to hang out but I told you my mom broke her ankle. Sometimes I’ll be out drunk when I said I’m tending to my sick aunt. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with you so I tell you I’m in Alaska.

Google latitude puts a GPS on your phone and laptop. It’s another feature of google maps. You can be a total stalker and just monitor your friend/lovers/sisters/brothers whereabouts. all damn day. I mean, in theory it’s a nice way to see where I am if I get kidnapped of course. But hey. Is it worth the price of privacy?

GL lets you “manually” set a location also. But then again what’s the point? So I can use stupid technology to add another dimension to my lying?

Lying is getting way too hard.

Thank you google. But I don’t think I’ll hop on the wagon with this one.

This data is pulled from millions of blogs across the world. Amazing.

My friend sent me this vid with the creator explaining how this site came to fruition.

My stalking dreams have come true. all you need is a webcam, some imagination, and possibly lube.

Literally. 

If you have time to kill, check out SuperObamaWorld.

It’s basically Super Mario World for Super Nintendo. Minus Yoshi. I don’t know. I fell off the first jump.

I can’t stop staring at the perfectly heart shaped ballz.

(via hypebeast)

Haha. Can’t wait for the police to fight over THIS one. I mean, really? How crappy must you feel to hope into your dirty Buick when the dude next to you is doing donuts in his lambo?  

(via inSPOT)

Well. I think it’s completely sweet. It’s like the joy of getting a birthday card. but reversed. 

According to the site, you can anonymously “tell your hookups, ex’s, boyfriends, girlfriends, and partners they may have been exposed to an STD.”

The tips are pretty awesome too:

• Notify everyone you’ve had sex with in the past six months. Oral sex counts, too.
• Try looking through your old emails and your online address book to complete the list.
• If you decide to compose a personal message, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Think about how you were told—what you liked and what you didn’t—and put the best of it into words.
• You don’t have to provide detailed medical info—this email card will automatically provide links to what they need to know.
• You can send postcards anonymously or from your email address. Historically, when you tell a sex partner(s) yourself, it’s more likely s.he will “hear” the message and get tested.

Ah well. At least the cards are cute.

:-/

Is that more pimp that a real Ferrari? 

I guess if the object of your affection is a five year old boy.

“Is this what I think it is?” 

You bet your ass it is. It’s a condom ruler! How convenient. Now when he says he’s 7 inches. You can LOLz at him and say, “No silly. You don’t measure from your ballz. Here let me help. Hmmm……4.5. Are you sure you’re all the way hard?” and proceed to walk out.