Love Life, Hate Kittens

I have never gone back to a same bar more than 3 times. In my mind, there’s always bigger, better, newer, fresher.. you get the picture. With a much talked about new bar/restaurant down the street from work, I was excited to see if it could earn a place permanently in my ho-tation. Upper West. Don’t let me down.

………famous last words.

Yo. Pop quiz. If you order the “Seared ahi tuna loin with wasabi cilantro mayo, mixed greens and mint chile vinaigrette” what do you expect to get? A salad? An entree? If you said two slices of sashimi smashed in between 3 pieces of thick bread. You win. This was the Big Mac of tuna sandwiches minus the juicy beef patties. Who the hell double decks a raw tuna sandwich (no one). This was really gross. In fact, I took all the tuna out and just ate the tuna…. all 3 tiny pieces. 

And it came with coleslaw and chips. What are you KFC?!

*breath*

We also had to send some french fries back because they were too mushy. The waiter was like, “Oh, when you cook the fries, it tends to get that way 4-5 minutes after they leave the kitchen. It’s just the way it was cooked. It doesn’t stay crispy.”

Um. Cool story, bro. 

Aside from a couple obvious missteps in ordering, I had a fantastic time. Service is fantastic. The space is really pretty. It’s completely open. This place was MADE for parties. Airy, lots of glass and wood. I love wood. Yea, that’s what she said (shutup.) The owner was really nice. He took the french fries off the bill and took really good care of our party and SANG Happy Birthday. So. Bad. Ass.

Being that it IS down the street and I AM all about the pretty, convince me to have a 2nd go at it. :(

Upper West

3321 West Pico Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90404
(310) 586-1111
www.theupperwest.com/

[shrimp heads via yelp/jacq l.]

Imagine. Huge bowl of perfectly cooked noodles, thick, juicy pieces of kurobuta pork. Hearty broth that has been simmered for 3 slow days. Just the thought of it makes me giddy. You know what else makes me giddy? Knowing that ramen cravings can now be satiated at Kanpai between the hours of 10pm - 1AM. The westside is great for many things but late night food options are limited and ramen? Yes, we’ve all tried to rush to Santouka by 7:30. Ugh.

Now imagine your surprise when what turns out to be a quick trip to try the ramen turns out to be your most delightful sushi excursion on LA.

If you go to Kanpai for a full meal, you have to go on a night when Peter is there. Trust me. Peter is the nicest, most informative manager you can ever have. He’s super passionate about fish and is truly excited to share his new fish imports from japan. He literally takes joy in making you happy. OK, maybe not literally. 

After our first exciting trip, we quickly came back to splurge and try the omakase. It was the most incredible meal I’ve ever had. Over 24 courses of food including real kobe beef (we’re shown the certificate of authenticity) on a grill, cherry sockeye salmon, sawara, crispy onions on seared albacore, miso seabass, mushroom medley, scallop sashimi, toro, orange clam 3 ways, live sweet shrimp, salmon with papaya and caviar, baby yellowtail nigiri, bluefin tuna sashimi platter, geoduck, black snapper, spanish mackeral, eel, lots of other fish that I can’t remember….. and ending the meal with small bowls of the aforementioned ramen and dessert.

Stuffed to the gills.

Everything was fresh, amazing. Generous cuts of fish. The food was paced well. He took our recommendations, asked us how adventurous we were . He even taught us how to eat the live shrimp heads. Btw, those little buggers sure stay alive for a long time, frantically moving their little whiskers, and they totally bug their eyes out when you’re scooping out their brains. Mmmmm. Brains.

With the quality and quantity of food that we received, I was sure that the bill would be over $200/pp but get this…. for 3 people, it was only 325! Whaaaaat? While omakase may not be an everyday thing, the ramen itself is worth the trip to Westchester.

See you after 10.

Kanpai Japanese Sushi Bar

8325 Lincoln Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90045
(310) 338-7223

[lobster bolognese - via Jeannie <3]

When someone takes you to Providence on your birthday, you can’t return the favor with Bossa Nova. You just can’t. Now you’re required to step it up. Stupid unspoken gift giving rules. My first thought was… Urasawa anyone?

Psh. Not until I whore myself out 3 more times.

After much contemplation, I felt that Melisse fit the bill. It’s elegant, it has 2 Michelin stars, it’s classy without breaking the bank.

I made ressies a month in advance and mentioned that it was his birthday and also asked for a corner booth. Romantic I know. When we arrived, we were whisked promptly to our table and there was a card! and chocolates! Awww.

Our waiter was really nice. We decided to do the tasting menu and order a couple dishes ala carte.

Highlights of the night included:

- Hamachi - Perfect recommendation! Fat, fresh pieces of yellowtail on top of a potato cake topped with salmon roe. Mmm. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever ate in my life.
- Wagyu Beef Tartare - This is so overwhelming. My initial thought was .. wow. salty. :( But as you blended everything together, it was decadent. Everything was balanced.
- Lobster Bolognese - OMG. I love pasta, I love lobster, I love truffles. How can this be any more perfect? It was rich, creamy, fresh times a million. Get this.
- Norwegian Salmon - Best dish of the night. The salmon hasn’t been on the market for 25 years (or so he said) and it was the lightest, most flavorful salmon I’ve ever had. The chanterelles were just icing on the cake.

We had some other dishes that were good but weren’t worth mentioning. Possibly because we were stuffed by the 4th course and the food kept coming. The portions as before are pretty big especially for a tasting menu. Our server brought dish after dish and ended with cookies and strawberries. It was such a nice dinner.

I noticed that each dish was meant to eat as one. When you eat the elements separately, it’s too sweet, too salty, too rich. Yet when the forces combine, it’s orgasmic.

The crowd is a bit older. The creme de la creme of the Westside yet it’s not pretentious. If my parents were white and loved each other, I would totally recommend Melisse for an anniversary dinner.


Melisse
1104 Wilshire Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 395-0881
www.melisse.com

The last two weeks have been tough. Stressful. Hard. Barely running on 5 hours of sleep. Haha, I know people run on less but I have a horribly weak body and I sleep a lot.

Fortunately nothing can cheer me up more than a crabtastic lunch at home.

Hello.

Emo.

Lunch.

Content.

I have never turned down steak in my life. Good steak, bad steak, Hong Kong cafe steaks, steak from Sizzler’s, steak from Denny’s, I’m all in.

Strangely enough, I have never had steak at a major steakhouse (i.e Cut, Ruth Chris’, etc.) and I don’t think STK counts considering I only went for drinks, cute boys and marathon flirting. Problem with steakhouses is that it’s so damn pricey! Upwards to $150 a steak, holy jesus! The only thing I like more than steak is more steaks. Do you know how many Bossa Nova steaks I can buy with 150 bucks? (answer: a million.)

After an uneventful encounter with an all packed Tar Pit, my dining companion and I headed to Carlitos. Unassuming Carlitos.

Carlitos Gardel is a romantic, quaint little place. This is a place where you tell your lover to meet, a place where anniversaries are created. This is a place for old lifelong friends, a place your grandfather wants to pass on to you. This is a place you grow old with.

We started with mussels and garlic fries. Delicious. Garlicky and fresh. Tried not to soak up too much of the sauce with bread. Must save room for steak. For our mains, I got the special 18oz NY with peppercorn/mushroom sauce and he got the 14 oz ribeye with chimichurri. STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES. The ribeye was the most decadent steak I’ve ever had. Almost rare, juicy, soft while retaining the meatiness of a steak. Unlike Wagyu which is way too fatty/buttery for me. This was perfect. My NY was great, but the ribeye was zomgamazing. Why so delicious, steak?

I honestly cannot eat another piece of steak without comparing. I want to go back tonight, tomorrow night, the night after. I want to go back weekly. I will be one of those old ladies that never changes her order EVAR. Ribeye, you are my best friend.

By the time we hit dessert (the peach cake), I was stuffed and content.

So this is what bliss feels like.

What are you waiting for? Go try it now before I chase you down like Sam-I-Am.

Carlitos Gardel
7963 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(323) 655-0891
www.carlitosgardel.com

[Duck Sliders - tastes better than it looks. Pic from Sook W.]

Newest creation from Mark Peel of Campanile fame.

Shiny. Pretty. Frivolous. I love the decor. I love pretty chairs. A bit gothic, a bit Victorian or in order words, a bit Anna Sui.

Note: Do not come here without a reservation on the weekends. Thought we’d come here on a whim last Saturday (Friday?) and it was an hour wait at 10PM.

Note #2: Their kitchen closes at 12AM for you classy nightbirds.

The booths are really cozy. While I would never come here for a full meal (the food isn’t that good), the ambiance and mood makes it the perfect place for afterwork drinks, happy hour with friends, or an adulterous affair. Though if you’re having an affair, going to a high profile restaurant probably isn’t your best bet.

The food is split between bar bites and dinner. I’d give the food 2 stars overall. There were some (one) highlights and the rest were pretty average. In fact, it reminded me of hotel food or museum restaurants. Fancy but no dice.

Food:

Duck sliders - tasty. if you’re familiar with chinese pulled pork, this is what it tastes like but with duck. The bun was slightly toasted and gave a nice crunch.

Clams Casino - Fail. Overcooked clams with a small slice of bacon. Something you’d bring to a ‘my first potluck’ party.

Oysters - n/a. It’s oysters. The only thing I can comment is that they weren’t too plump.

Lobster and Scallop Newberg - Easily the best dish of the night! Healthy chunks of lobster, light sauce, perfect for bread dipping. Loved the mushrooms and carrots.

Fries - The fries were OK but the dipping sauce is what sets it over the top. Tasted like truffled mayo. Mmmmm. mayo.

Tuna Tartare - Served with cucumber. They should consider taro chips. Flavors were OK. Nothing exciting. A bit bland.

Mussels - These were OK. It’s not Tasca, it’s not Nook, it’s not even Father’s Office.

If you’re into places like Copa D’Oro and the Varnish, they boast a really nice drink menu. We tried a couple such as the Dark + Stormy, Gin Gin Mule, and Agave Bravo. All were good but I’m not a big cocktail girl so while tasty, I don’t really get wet over it.

Last note: All bottles of wine are $38 which is a good/bad thing depending on how much you know wine.

I’d come back. Only cuz I’m pretty plastic myself.

The Tar Pit

609 N La Brea Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90036
www.tarpitbar.com

[via Sherry R]

Oh my, it’s been a year. A year ago I came to this Father’s Office and had the burger. Fantastic burger. During this fine time, they served fries in little shopping carts which we may or may not have stole. They have since discontinued the carts. Coincidence I tell you!

Well, FO is just as popular as day 1 even on a rainy Wednesday. We chatted over our first beer and circled the place looking for any hints that anyone was leaving. There’s a simple strategy. Avoid the TVs. If there is a game on, the mens will sit. Forever. Luckily we preyed on a lady and her two man friends paying the bill. Sweet!  Even sweeter if they didn’t hop into a 5 minute impromptu make out session. Jesus lady. Do that at Jack in the Box. I’m hungry.

Note: Btw. ladies, if you’re looking for hot, young men… FO is your wonderground.

Never realized FO had such an extensive menu. Bone marrow! Duck! Pork Belly! WTF! And did yo know that FO has oysters? *dies* Unfortunately by 9PM, they ran out and we went with our 2nd choice, the mussels. Also tossed in duck confit salad, sonoma lamb, and regular fries. Ultimately FO is a bar and they are not going to pace your food especially with the high volume of customers. So everything sorta came out all at once and disturbing fast I might add. Like 2 minutes fast. Freaky.

Maybe it’s my low expectations of bar food but everything was……good. Shockingly good. The duck confit was fall off the bone and just salty enough to cut into the acidity of hte salad. The mussels. OMG. I’m so glad to have delicious mussels so close to home. Fat mussels just barely cooked in yellow curry. Tasty! I started dipping the fries in the curry. Mmmm. The portions are pretty big so by the time we tackled the lamb I was a bit full. The lamb was cooked in a Mediterranean/Greek style on a skewer and it was flavorful. The mint sauce was sorta overpowering but eh.. can’t complain.

4 dishes. 5 beers. 73 buck. Fantastic time with friends.

I really do love LA.

Father’s Office

3229 Helms Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 736-2224
www.fathersoffice.com

[squid ink risotto via fifi l of yelp.]

me: I’m taking you somewhere nice for your birthday.
him: Does it start with A and end with OC?
me: I hate you.

For our group birthday dinner, AOC was a no brainer. We probably drive by AOC twice a week. Pored over the menu a dozen times yet never stepped foot in. Too pricey? Too ritzy? Too special for a weekday dinner? Whatever the reason, I was happy for an excuse.

Crowd and decor: I always thought that AOC had high ceilings. Very misleading windows. Always assumed that it was dressy. Not quite I must say and compared to other ‘high end’ restaurants, there were quite a few tables with younger children. Interesting. The tables are a bit close together but we had a side booth close to the entrance. Can’t really tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Good because the other tables looked a bit close together. Bad because it felt detached from the main room.

Service, drinks and bread: We started off with bread and spicy tapanade (tomato chili paste?) and some iced tea and wine. I ordered a flight of sparkling wine cuz I love the bubbly. Strangely enough, the wine flight was brought out all at once with stickers numbering 1, 2 and 3. Odd. Maybe I expected the flight to be like Joe’s where he gave them to me during my meal and kindly paired it. Having so many glasses on the table made me feel forced to drink faster to clear space (it was a small table). Service was a bit odd. Our waitress showed up sparingly but the bus boys really cleaned up her act. Bread was refilled many, many times and plates were cleared quickly.

Which brings me to another point. At Tasca, I’m used to the waiters pacing our food. Maybe two items would come at once but usually its pretty well sequenced. At AOC, we got our meat plate and asparagus first. Then 15 minutes later received our fish, chicken, squid ink risotto, and duck all together. Before long, our steak, beef cheeks, and potatos came. All at once. We had a table full of plates. Did I mention it was a small table?

Not only did we have to eat fast to maximize space, we also didn’t want anything to get cold.

Read more

Saturday brunch makes me feel mature.

After having a nice girly mani/pedi morning, the girls decided to meet their mens for a late brunch at La Grande Orange in Santa Monica. How suburban. Service was pretty fantastic considering we all arrived at different times and didn’t put in our order until the last person arrived. Given the crowd that was growing by minutes, our waitress was patient. The table ordered 2 pitchers of sangria (white and red) and the red was far superior. The white tasted like concentrated grape juice (before you mix with water). Meh.

I ordered the hash brown benedict with bacon. Basically its two poached eggs on top of two pieces of honey bacon on top of some potato hash. Lack of flavor. Lacked salt. Could have been from Denny’s. Some people ordered the burger + fries but had to put salt on the burger also. Fries were good. Also had a nibble of the brussels sprouts salad which was pretty tasty. Their ribeye steak was horrible. Not a hint of pink in sight even though we ordered it medium rare. Gross.

In short, the food was awfully mediocre and bland but I do love the open space, the crowd (young and pretty), the location and the red sangria. A-OK. Although I would not be coming back unless invited, I would see how this would be a great place to grab a casual brunch with work folks or casual friends. And besides…… the food was fairly reasonably priced (hash brown benedict was $8) albeit flavorless..

Just avoid the 18 dollar ribeye (steak + eggs).

La Grande Orange

(310) 396-9145

I’ve been excited all week because I thought Yabu changed locations. Thought they moved down the street from their little hole in the wall on Pico and I was dying to check out the new digs.. Turns out all they did was add a huge banner and a bigger nameplate :-/ Ha! Tricked me.

Well played Yabu, well played.

As much as I enjoy ramen and pho, there’s days when I just want something cold. Warm day + Refreshing soba washed down by iced green tea. Perfectly firm noodles dipped in soy, green onions, and wasabi. Heaven! Paired with light, fluffy shrimp/veggie tempura and chicken karaage. My favorite lunch meal in West LA. For those fat days when anything else just seems so heavy. Strive to be “less of a whale, more of woman” as my mother always says.

One gripe I do have is their lunch specials. It’s not really a “special” when it’s 12 dollars.

Yabu

11820 W Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90064
(310) 473-9757

[The Pork Osso Buco *cough* via yelp]

I must preface. Service was 5 stars all the way. Both our waitresses were excellent. Given that we only had 45 minutes to eat before the John Legend concert, they knew when to bring our bill, pace our food, and get us through the side door directly to the theatre.

And the bread was amazingly good. The decor was beautiful.

And that’s where it stops. I’m not being judgmental or bougie but this line from a review I read says a lot… “Quite honestly, this place is one of the best in the valley.”

Oh really. Mighty bold statement for a city that also boasts a 2 story Sizzler’s. :-/

The chef seems like he watched too many episodes of Top Chef and decided that more is well… more. Adding many sauces and stacking your food does not equal fine dining.

We ordered:

Calamari - It’s a staple right? They topped it with mayo, over crusted the already dry calamari and ‘artfully’ arranged it on a bed of marinara sauce. Then sprinkled a handful of herbs on it. Hmmmm.

Ceviche - Oh. I didn’t realize ceviche stood for ‘trio of crudo’. We have some tortilla chips in one corner, a couple marinated whole shrimp in the next, salmon topped with dill mayo in the other, and lastly, ahi tuna chunks? in teriyaki? Is this a twisted version of ahi poke? The best thing on the ‘plate’ was the shrimp and even that was stretching it. You can tell old shrimp from the limp shell..

Mussels in white wine - Huge portion of undersized, overcooked mussels in ….. marinara sauce? Oh.

Fries - French fries were normal. Thanks.

OK. So maybe I won’t ever come back here again. Or to Indio for that matter but seriously? This is not a 4.5 star place. This isn’t even a 3 star place. I applaud the chef’s efforts for a creative menu but creativity does not sacrifice taste.

Tattoo that.

POM Restaurant @ Fantasy Springs Resort
84245 Indio Springs Dr
Indio, CA 92203
(760) 345-2450
www.fantasyspringsresort.com

He said, “Let’s go to Sushi Zo”

I balked at the idea of going to Sushi Zo. It’s gonna be at least $150/pp  and it’s only the first day of our Valentine’s weekend. It’s a Friday. We don’t just go to Sushi Zo on a whim. I didn’t even throw up today. And not to mention, I’m thrifty. And by thrifty I mean, why don’t we save this money for my Chanel habit.

………and wouldn’t you know Sushi Zo turned us away due to no reservations. Thank you God for loving quilted lambskin purses as much as I do.

However we now have an intense craving for sushi so we headed for the other Zo in the area. K-Zo that is.

Tucked in the corner of DT Culver City and next to Trader Joe’s, K-Zo is a wee little gem. Sure the tables are a bit close together but the decor is very stylish, minimal, can be romantic and aesthetically pleasing.

We ordered a little bit from each section of the menu (sushi, cold plates, hot plates, sashimi platter, etc):

Monkfish Liver - it’s called the ‘foie gras’ of the sea and rightfully so! So smooth and creamy. Tasted so good with the seaweed salad and ponzu.
Live Scallop 2 Ways - Scallop sashimi and scallop sauteed with mushrooms. The sashimi was really good - crisp with a kick. Large portion. We had 4-5 pieces each. Served in the scallop shell. Very cute presentation.
Hamachi Verde - Do not want. Meh. Perfect large pieces of yellowtail sitting in some weird green sauce. The menu said ‘sweet herb sauce’ but this was like aji sauce from Peruvian restaurants. Gross.
Braised Kurabota Pork - so tender. so good! came with half an egg and boiled potato. If it had bones, it’d fall right off them.
Premium Toro Sashimi - Fish butter. Fish cream. Fish *insert other creamy buttery food* Cream overload. Seriously. How can fish be so… soft and buttery?
Nigiri (Yellowtail, Mackerel, King Mackerel, Salmon, Abalone, Sweet Shrimp with fried shrimp heads, Kanpachi) - Everything tasted fresh. The rice to fish ratio was perfect and well portioned. Enjoyed all except for the abalone. Way too tough. And I love shrimp heads. I wish I could just have a bag of shrimp heads in my purse at all times. My superhero alias would be the head muncher.

*awkward silence*

ANYWAY. Hey, guess how much the bill was?

No really. Guess. We both threw out a price.. price is right style. I called 140. He called 215.

And I won!! Only $150!!!!! Mwahahahahaha.

What a great neighborhood sushi place that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. Now on to Chanel we go.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

K-Zo

9240 Culver Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232
(310) 202-8890

[pic credit: yelp]

Lunch in SanMo has to be some level of personal hell. The traffic. The parking. The sloooooow service. The ladies who walk their dogs at 2pm. The leisurely pace they eat their lunch…no rushing back to the office. Who’s your sugar daddy and can I get some of that?

Located where Riva used to be off 2nd and Wilshire, Fraiche’s menu is focused on rustic french and italian dishes with seasonal ingredients. The decor is still pretty much the same. It’s private, romantic, lots of candles and wide windows.

For the app we decided to share the foie gras terrine. I did something entirely out of character and went with the pork belly salad as my main and he got the burger. The terrine came in two nice size pieces with a fig puree and orange gelee. Very tasty when you eat it all together. Smooth.

The pork belly salad is literally two big slabs of what looks like mutant bacon over wild arugula and frisee. It was crunchy, tender, full of flavor not to mention thick. Unfortunately, I don’t like salads so I just ended up eating both slabs of meat and gorging on Eli’s fries and bread.

His burger was pretty tasty. He complained later that it was too flavorful. How can anything be too flavorful?! Picky.

With the 40% off coupon that the bf graciously sent us, our total came out around 31 bucks before tip. Such a steal.

Now I’m just waiting for some rich dude to snatch me up so I can shop and eat here at regular price. Every day.

Fraiche

312 Wilshire Blvd

Santa Monica, CA 90401

(310) 451-7482

www.fraicherestaurantsm.com