[via houston’s. awkward and unappetizing i know. but its really good]

I have nothing against chains but I do have a huge problem with slow service. Houston’s, you’re located in the heart of Santa Monica with a tremendous volume of lunch patrons. Yes, I’m sure half of those patrons include plastic cougars who have the time and patience to wait 40 minutes for their food but think about me! Yes, me! The lowly working girl (no. not THAT kind of working girl) who only has an hour for lunch. I already had to drive into Santa Monica and battle for parking in the always ‘full’ 2nd street structure. You took so long my friend had to pack her order to go :(

And slightly on a tangent but I don’t know what gave you the impression that I was thirsty but you kept bringing over ice teas when my glass was still half full. Maybe you’re the half empty type of girl. Who knows. But sitting at a table with 6+ cups for 2 makes for a very awkward setting. Other patrons might think we had imaginary friends. Which is like totally cool if you were 6 or insane but still.

But as much as I hate to love you. I still do. Your Roast Beef French Dip was delicious. Slightly toasted buttery bun with mounds and mounds of soft, juicy roast beef. It held together well for the dippin’. Mmmm. Since I am on a diet, I got your seasonal spaghetti squash with mushrooms as my side instead of fries. It was very delicious minus the mounds of sea salt on top. Which is totally fine. High blood pressure sits well on my petite frame :-/

By the way, back to the lowly working girl thing. I don’t know if I can come here anymore. You do realize you started your sandwiches and salads at $17 right? And you do realize your lunch entrees start at $27. 27 dollars. Yikes. 

Might have to give that working girl thing another shot. Yea. The other kind.

Houston’s Restaurants
202 Wilshire Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 576-7558

[pics via Virginia D and Caroline K of yelp]

Meh. I’d only come here if I wanted to dump my man.

It’s pretty and impersonal. It’s distracting and packed. It’s loud enough so you can ignore him when he asks for his Jay-Z collection back or glaze over the fact that you screwed his best friend.

The food is cheap but pedestrian and mediocre enough that it won’t build up any new happy memories that you’ll reminisce on and wonder if you should give him a 2nd chance. Much like Joan’s on 3rd, BL exists on smoke and mirrors. It’s cute and elegant enough to give unsuspecting LAers a ‘downtown NY’ experience and then bamboozle you into Cheesecake Factory quality food.

We ordered a couple dishes to share. Decided to split a pizza into two flavors - Bianco and Clam. Both were really really heavy on garlic. The Bianco was rather ‘milky’ tasting possibly from the overload of ricotta and mozzarella. The arugula on top was kinda odd and unnecessary. The clam was meh. Kind of chewy.

We also got a side of marinated shrimp which was a throwaway order but ironically the best thing we had all night. It was light and refreshing in contrast to all the oily fried food we ordered.

Speaking of fried foods, the portobello fries that everyone raves over? Tell me it’s interesting after the first two. I dare you. Yea. It’s fried mushrooms. Go get that shit and your local hamburger hut. The novelty was there…… for 3 seconds.

And the chocolate souffle and calamari we ordered? Not even worth mentioning. In a blind taste test, I wouldn’t be able to separate Bottega Louie’s food from Olive Garden.

If you have a horrible palate but want to “feel” like you’re in a chic New York hot spot for a night, come to BL. If you ignore the surroundings outside BL, the lack of crowds and energy on the streets, the bums, and the low rent food, it’s EXACTLY like NY.

….and I’m really Megan Fox.

Bottega Louie

700 S Grand Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90017
(866) 418-9162

www.bottegalouie.com

[foie gras tuna dish - courtesy of Helen K of yelp. Fan her!]

I love Joe’s for many reasons. With their open kitchen, welcoming space, and that quirky “tucked in the heart of Abbott Kinney” vibe, I also remember it as one of the nicest and more romantic brunches that I’ve been treated to. And that being said, it was nearly a year ago (!), so I was excited to finally return for dinner.

Street parking is still a bitch in AK area. Either bring cash for valet or park so far you don’t remember where you parked (not that it happened of course :-/) Joe’s had a good amount of hustle and bustle for a weeknight.

We decided to order plates to share rather than do full entrees. Our waiter (who looked like Doc Brown) was very friendly and gave me a great wine pairing with my meal.

We split it up into three course (two dishes per course).

1) Grilled shrimp with beets special — I have no idea what it’s officially called or what it all entails but it was delicious! I personally love shrimp and it’s an easy meat to fuck up - namely overcooking. But Joe’s does shrimp well, and the beets were a nice complement to the dish and I don’t particularly like beets. Mmmm.

Grilled Octopus with Greek Salad, Pine Nut Charmula, Kalamata Olive Dust, Sicilian Olive Oil — oh you silly sea creatures that are hard to cook. As with shrimp, octopus is another one of those meats where it gets tough quick. Joe’s octopus was slightly tough but didn’t deter from its nice smoky flavoring and simple greek salad.

2) Grilled Ahi Tuna with Seared Hudson Valley Foie Gras, Rosti Potato, Red Wine Herb Sauce — fantastic. I cannot get enough of foie gras. It was seared perfectly and went unexpectedly well with the tuna and potato. Great flavors.

Porcini Mushroom Ravioli with Wild Mushroom Parmesan Broth, Italian Parsley — If there’s ravioli on the menu, I’m getting it. No questions asked. This undoubtedly was one of the best dishes of the night! Well cooked pasta, flavorful earthy sauce, huge portion…must have.

3) Crispy black cod and apple stuffed quail. The two worst dishes of the night. Very disappointing. I’m used to quail with very crispy skin and easy to eat or at least cut in a way that we can easily take apart but noooo. It was literally the whole bird. Slightly undercooked and even though the waiter suggested that we use our hands, it was still very awkward.

In contrast, the crispy black cod … wasn’t crispy. It was under-seasoned paired with daikon broth which is pretty much flavorless in itself. Overall meh dishes.

I wish our meal had ended on a higher note but it was a great meal nonetheless.

1023 Abbot Kinney Blvd
Venice, CA 90291
(310) 399-5811

[pic via Charrise N. of yelp]

Hello winter weather. Hello pho.

It’s that time of year again. Holidays. Hot pots. Pho and Ramen weather.

1) Pho Show — With a name like Pho Show, half the fun is in the name (and making corny 40 Year Old Virgin jokes. Easy Steve Carell.) There’s a steady lunch crowd but never had a wait.

I usually go with the regular combination pho with tripe, tendon, brisket, meat balls, and rare beef and eggrolls. Sounds like a lot? Don’t worry. You only get two pieces of each listed meat. Oh no! Worried that you’ll have a horrible ratio of noodles to meat? Oh, don’t worry. You only get a small handful of noodles too. Meh. You get a weight watcher’s XS portion of everything. Sweet. God’s way of telling me to ease up fatass or do more coke like a responsible adult.

The eggrolls are measly and strangely similar to those at chinese restaurants rather the more traditional flavors that viet eggrolls carry - there’s no vermicelli, pork flavor, and those crunchy black things.

But the question is, is it still passable? Let me phrase my answer carefully… with enough sriracha and condiments, you can turn any bland bowl of broth into an acceptable meal. Being one of the only 3 pho places on the westside, I suggest you start learning how to mask your tastebuds. adjust accordingly.

4349 Sepulveda Blvd
Culver City, CA 90230
(310) 398-5200

Regular bowl of pho starts at $7.50.

2) Pho 99 Noodle and Grill — Pho is very much like fast food. Places like Pho So 1 and Golden Deli have your food to you within 3 minutes after you order and it’s understandable. The broth should be premaid, the noodles set to go, the meats and veggies all lined up like its the Subway line. What could be the hold up?

At Pho 99, the wait for a table is 20 minutes. As more and more people crowd around the door and more and more tables clear, you’d expect it to rotate in a cycle. But no. Pho 99 is grossly understaffed with three people in a collaborative (…i’m being nice) effort to bus tables, take orders, play the host, and manage the take out station. The tables are left dirty for 20 minutes on end and you get no direction whether to seat yourself or to wait.

After another 20 minutes of waiting to order and another 15 for your food, you finally dive into what seems like the best bowl of pho ever. It could be starvation, it could be the msg but it is enough to make you shun Pho Show forever. The eggrolls are substantial and piping hot. The broth is hearty and full of flavor. It’s almost enough to make you forget that you spent 50 minutes of your lunch hour waiting. for pho.

Regular bowl of pho starts at $6.95.

11819 Wilshire Boulevard
Suite 106B
West Los Angeles, CA 90025

(310) 312-7881

(310) 312-7881

[photo via Eileen T.]

me: What’s for dinner?
him: Salad.
me: Oh.
him: What about you?
me: Eh. I have a cucumber I have to eat.

10 minutes later

me: Fuck it. I’m biting the bullet. We’re going for pho.

*crowd cheers*

Being sick for the past week, I was in dire need of good pho, which means choosing to drive to the south bay or hit up the SGV. The SGV obviously being the better choice. Now, the Chineser in me tells me all Asian places in the SGV close at 2am right? So imagine my surprise when the recommended Saigon Flavor was CLOSED! CLOSED at 8:30pm! Who eats this early?! In a mad panic, we detour to Golden Deli barely slipping in the door at 8:59.

I seriously felt like such an asshole. Everyone else is wrapping up their meal. Who goes and orders two bowls of pho with extra beef balls and extra noodles, a side of charbroiled pork, AND eggrolls 2 minutes after closing? Luckily this place is quick. Within 3 minutes of ordering, all our food was served piping hot. I got the special pho with tripe, tendon, rare beef, beef balls, etc. Thank you pho gods for granting my wish. Two other people got turned away 5 minutes after we sat down. Ouch. Enjoy your del taco tonight.

Maybe it’s because I had my mind set on pho. Maybe it’s because I felt so accomplished for making it here on time but the broth was absolutely mind-blowing. I was sweating and slurping down the noodles as fast as I could. Felt like I was detoxing. The side of pork was delicious with green onions and garlic bits. The egg roll was greasy but equally amazing. And guess what? All that food for less than 25 bucks? Where else can you find this kind of satisfaction?

My only dilemma is I can never decide if I want pho or try something else since the pho is so good and I know I’m hardly in the area so my choice is crucial. Fortunately, that is an awesome dilemma to have. Next time I’ll just order both and pretend that my ‘friend’ flaked on me and lord knows its bad to waste food.  

Btw. Serious question: Asian gangsters don’t eat pho past 9?

(626) 308-0803

[Oh, the asparagus circa ‘07 had cheese instead. The sensible choice of course - pic via Caroline K. of yelp]

Every girl has her team. A trusted starting line-up of restaurants (and/or men) who are delicious, aesthetically pleasing and (usually) reliable. And every once in a while, the players slip up and open a spot for try outs. Last night was one of those nights.

Having been in the mood for tapas and flowing wine all day, I freaked out when both Tasca and Bistro LQ decided to be closed on Sunday. Who closes on Sundays? Better yet, who cooks at home on Sundays?

Fuming and almost heading over to Angelini (yikes. waking up the quarterback), Cobras y Matadors caught my eye. Oh Cobras y Matadors. I’ve heard of you and your fun and delicious tapas. You’d make a fine substitute for Tasca tonight.

Hmm. Your menu is certainly bold. I mean, having 15 things TOTAL on your menu with over half of those items being ‘Grilled Mushrooms’, ‘Lentils’, ‘Asparagus’ ‘Tomato Toast’. I understand it’s tapas but I didn’t expect a menu of side dishes either. What’s worse is that you proceed to tell me that the only menu items with substance - steamed mussels AND cod fritters - are out tonight. And you don’t have a wine list.

No worries. We’d love to get an overpriced bottle from the store next door and luckily we did cuz I don’t know how I’d be able to stomach your food dead sober.

I’m sorry but your chef has to go. Seriously. Walnut vinaigrette on top of asparagus and charging 8 dollars for 8 spears? Forgivable if tasty but it wasn’t. It was like sugary peanut butter on top of a roasted asparagus. Pan seared whitefish was nicley cooked but floating on top of the most acidic white bean concoction. Some beans were undercooked, some beans were overcooked. Just an overall bad dish. The flat bread/pizza was decent but how can you go wrong with cured meats and mushrooms? The skirt steak was cooked a perfect medium rare but was flavorless and the corn salsa tasted like the one from Trader Joe’s. In my heart, I’m glad we didn’t order the risotto of the day - arugula and tomato risotto sounds like another failed experiment. Even though we were both still a bit unsatisfied and not quite full, we opted to leave rather than get more food.

Serves me right. Now I know how it feels to fuck the waterboy.

Cobra y Matadors

7615 Beverly Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 932-6178

[exterior of Church and State from the awesome KevinEats]

There is no reason for me to dislike downtown. Really. I mean aside from the fact that I came from cities with far superior downtowns such as San Francisco, Hong Kong, and yes even Fort Worth, TX (oh burn.) While I understand that downtown is going through major renovation and quickly becoming the hub for the younger It crowd, isn’t it like 20 years too late? The buildings are gorgeous, the Church and State space is magnificent. But what are they going to do about the walkability factor? The stretches of spaces where there’s..nothing? Yea, go ahead call me a cynical snob. (lols. I initially typed cuntical which would have been appropriate too)

So back to C & S, the space as I mentioned is really impressive. Huge open kitchen. Décor = Industrial + Old Money + Kitchsy/Gorgeously Antiquated. The restaurant was ridiculously packed for a weekday so we snagged two chairs at the bar.

For appetizers, we ordered the Moelle de Boeuf (roasted bone marrow) and fried pigs ears. Fat alert. The bone marrow came with bread and radishes to cut the fat but omg it was ridiculously rich and fatty. To the point where you can’t have more than a couple bites (and I eat all kinds of fatty unhealthy crap.) The pigs ears was pretty good. Still fatty tho.

Here’s where I fail. You would think that after two rich courses I’d go with something light like…fish. Or something veggie based but no…..I decided to go with pork belly as my main. Oh you fatty whore. The pork belly luckily was very good - crisp but melt in your mouth. The corn accompaniment paired well and the pork belly was well cooked. Kudos. I tried some of my friend’s duck leg and potatoes and it was really good. Probably the better choice between the two.

Note: Considering that this is still considered a bistro with a limited menu, prices are decently cheap so it’s definitely a good option for downtown folks to come have a beer or some wine after work.

I actually came on recommendation from a friend who had lauded this as one of his favorite places to eat with ‘orgasmic’ food, but I have to say… He eats MY food all the time and touts it equally amazing also, so to be fair he probably doesn’t have the most discerning palette.

Did you see how I totally shatted on his tastebuds, gave myself a backhanded compliment, AND insulted the restaurant all at once. Cuntastic I know.

Church and State

1850 Industrial St
Los Angeles, CA 90021

[cod (his is halibut) cooked in shiso and lemon. photo from eli - who consistently writes great reviews at baller ass places.]

5 star dining experience with 3 star food. I’ve been eyeing providence since forever. After hearing many of my friends brag about it, poring over multiple blog entries, we decided that it was time.

We thought long and hard about the tasting menus versus ala carte. Reason: Neither of us like sweets or desserts so we didn’t know how we’d feel about 4 out of 14 courses being a dessert on the chef’s menu or even the regular tasting menu. Nothing against dessert fiends, we just love meat THAT much more.

Service was impeccable as you’d expect. The waiters give great recommendations and for a ‘upscale’ restaurant they were extremely personable and was there to accommodate your needs. Plus they were hilarious. We asked our waiter if we should get the prawns and he was like ‘fo sho.’ lols.

Our waiter also recommended that we do the 5 course tasting and order the rest ala carte. Win win. A quick note before I get to the food, the décor is really nice. Draped in a simple blue grey palette with high ceilings, it was airy, calm, spacious. Quite the nice getaway from the bustling restaurant scene.  

Food Breakdown:

GREAT

- Santa Barbara Salt Prawns - These are amazing! They smell so delectable and the table side presentation was pretty cool. Roasted in kosher salt and rosmary, the prawns shelled in front of you and drizzled in olive oil. It tasted amazingly sweet. Almost like crab flavored lobster.  
- Foie gras ravioli italian summer truffles, aromatics, parmesan  - I love foie gras, infatuated with pasta, and I love love love truffles so technically this dish can’t fail and it didn’t. The truffles are shaved tableside and he didn’t hesitate to overload my ravioli with truffles. Mmm. Random: they bring out the huge black truffles and white truffles for you to smell. So baller.
- Japanese wagyu beef with wild mushrooms - This was the 2nd to last course and by this point, I was pretty stuffed. The wagyu is sliced tableside and was deliciously fatty. Almost too fatty at this stage of the meal. I was slipping into food coma. The intense fattiness of it went well with the asparagus and chanterelles and potato. Paired nicely with the wine.

GOOD

- Cod in shiso and lemon - The cod was so delicate. I have cooked cod before and it was NOTHING like this. It was one of the best pieces of fish I’ve ever had. Thought the sauce was a bit overpowering though for such a delicate fish.
- Hokkaido sea scallop with chanterelles, bacon - I love scallops and this was no exception. The flavor pairing was good albeit salty but the wine really cut the acidity of the sauce.
- Kanpachi sashimi with soy crème fraiche with blossoming coriander - Good. Fresh.
- Veal tenderloin, hazelnuts, roasted garlic, King Edwards potatoes, onion, veal jus - Perfectly cooked. It was so tender and juicy. The accompaniments paired nicely though I wish the meats were served in the middle rather than the end cuz I was so full.
- Mojito, the gin and tonic, and chilled carrot soup - the amuses. It was ok. Creative and cute. Liked the mojito the most. The gin and tonic tasted like frozen G & T which is the point but I kept thinking. It’s a G & T ice cube! I’m so pedestrian I know.
- Cheesecake, pear sorbet, glazed pears - Interesting take on a cheesecake (which is my favorite dessert actually) I enjoyed the trio of pears, the pear sorbet was delicious. Very light and not too sweet.
- Panna cotta - had just a teensy bite of this, but pretty good.

MEH.

- Chowda’ smoky bacon, manila clams, creamy clam broth - It was ok. The broth wasn’t creamy enough. It tasted like watered down clam chowder. It actually tasted like the sauce the scallops was paired with .. Just like the soup version.
- Bacon, Mushroom, Truffled Risotto - I really don’t want to sound full of myself. But I will. I know I can make better risotto. In fact, BOTH of us thought the same thing. This risotto was noticeably undercooked, lacked the creaminess I expect from risotto, and the bacon threw it off. I did like the truffles on top cuz it’s truffles.

My problem isn’t that the food is overly ‘avant garde’ or innovative to the point where I’m just dining on foam and gels but I thought the flavoring was off in a lot of the dishes. The sauce and/or seasoning was either too salty or too rich in contrast to the protein. I don’t think the flavors enhanced the meats but rather taken away from the burst of clean, fresh flavors that I expected from a renowned seafood restaurant.

Despite my minor quips with the food, I am so so so lucky and thankful to have dined at Providence for my birthday no less and had celeb chef moment: I almost head butted Chef Michael Cimarusti when I was trying to escape from the bathroom (the door is uber heavy). He’s so nice and has such a pleasant demeanor although I think I confused him cuz I got nervous and bowed and waved at the same time. Fml.

Providence

5955 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90038
(323) 460-4170

[Based on the incredulous looks last night, i’m the only one whose read this book]

I’m always looking for a watering hole. You have your Bar Chloe when you want to be classy, you have your Copa D’oro when you want to meet a date. You have the Yard if you’re just in the mood to get some beer and grub. Now the Promenade welcomes another Happy Hour contender — 5th Amendment Alehouse.

While the idea of beer or an ale house doesn’t really send me in a frenzy, I loved the recommended Allegash White. It was light and went splendidly with the different cured meats and cheeses 5th Amendment offered. They boast an impressive line of beers on tap and the bartender is extremely knowledgeable. Speaking of frenzies, it’s public knowledge that I go dumb for sausage and 5th Amendment fills my void. They have a menu full of gourmet sausages and I was lucky to try the ‘Rabbit & Veal with White Wine & Herbs’ and the ‘Buffalo with chipotle chilis’ both equally delicious.  

Personally, I think 5th Amendment should scratch everything from their menu and focus on having the best sausages in town.

On that note, they are currently offering interesting sliders – namely bison and llama. Say what you want about llamas but they are damn tasty! The burger itself  was really flavorful. I don’t like my burgers with a whole lot of stuff going on so these sliders were perfect. Some gruyere, the meat patty, a good bun = perfection.

Some people mentioned this is copying Wurstküche. First off, I didn’t know Wurstküche had a monopoly on the sausage game and secondly, I may get wet for sausage but hello westside? YOU sit through 40 minutes of rush hour traffic for a lil’ slap and tickle.

(*they are still in their soft opening stages and it’s currently cash only.)

5th Amendment Alehouse

129 Broadway
Santa Monica, CA 90401

www.pleadfifth.com

I’m really sad.

Me being a Westside girl. You being…..god knows where. I know my chances of coming back to you is slim to none. I mean, Los Feliz? You might as well be in China. Vinoteca will soon fade away as a pleasant memory as being that passionate one time fling in Tijuana.

I will miss your oaky, sophisticated interior. The vast selection of beers and wine on tap! The cool blast of AC that welcomed me as I trekked down that (god awful) hill from the Greek Theatre.

I’m jealous of your other lovers that will get to enjoy your awesome 4-7 happy hour specials. Wines and beer from 6 bucks? Super heavy pours? Thank you for introducing me to Brachetto. It is now my new favorite wine. And that bread! I’m sorry I had three baskets full :(

Your food? Full of win. We had a feast dining on Ceviche Vinoteca, Jamon Serrano, Fritto Misto Di Pesce, Mushroom Polenta. The ceviche portion was humongous and delicious. The fried calamari was breaded lightly and the shrimp/fish/zucchini really jazzed it up. The mushroom polenta was earthy, well seasoned and light. And the jamon! Simply amazing. Way to not cheapen or cheat your customers as many places do for their “happy hour” specials.

Thank you for letting us kill a couple hours before our show. You were packed but never rushed us. Such a wonderful, chill atmosphere. You and me? Made For Each Other.

Now the question is, when are you moving to the Westside? (Popped collars are optional but recommended.)

Vinoteca Farfalla

1968 Hillhurst Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90189
(323) 661-8070

Pan Seared Mahi Mahi with grape tomatos and grilled asparagus drizzled in white truffle oil

I love living close to work :)

[bay scallops pasta - photo via Jenny C.]

I never dined at the Getty previously thinking that it was some lame overpriced cafe style restaurant with mediocre food. Much like the restaurants at Disneyland or any public attraction.

I was wrong.

If I was an older Brentwood cougar, i’d dine here with my Sex and the City girlfriends all the time. This had all the makings of a perfect weekend/weekday lunch. The amazing view. The prompt, professional service. The quiet patrons. The Restaurant = full of class. I was even offered a black linen napkin as opposed to the regular white because he didn’t want me to get white lint on myself. (Thoughtful points!)

We went with the Mussels and Clams and Chorizo Sausage for our app and the lobster risottos and the bay scallops pasta for our mains.

The Mussels and Clams dish was such a hit. The broth was flavorful and garlicky. The portions were huge - we each had 10-13 clams/mussels each. The mussels are quite tender and soft rivaling Tasca as best cooked mussels ever. She didn’t give us a 2nd look when we requested more bread (after an initial bread platter AND the bread that came with it) to soak up the delicious soup.

I admit. Our mains fell a bit short especially in comparison to the amazing appetizer. The lobster risotto had way too many peas and the rice was a bit undercooked. Lots of lobster chunks though. The bay scallops pasta was too ‘soupy’ and creamy. Again - plenty of scallops - what they lacked in flavor they made up for in abundance of ingredients.

Luckily the menu is seasonal and changes frequently so there’s plenty of new things to try. I would love to come back for dinner. The view would be amazing.

The Restaurant at the Getty

1200 Getty Center Drive
Los Angeles, CA 90049
(310) 440-7300

[via Mike l. of yelp]

It’s official.

It doesn’t matter what time of day it is. Whether it’s the midweek lunchtime crunch or the lazy weekend, Bay Cities is a madhouse. It’s like standing in a pack of starving spider monkeys. Know what you want to order. This isn’t Subway. There’s no time for you to stand around and debate whether you want peppercinis or not. Get in and get out.

The Godmother with the works is always your best choice if you want a little bit of everything. I tend to fall back on the meatball sandwich. Two humongous balls of exploding meat. Exploding right into your soul. The meat is packed loosely and full of flavor. It’s simple, mozzarella and meatball on a toasted loaf. It’s the best meatball sandwich you ever had.

Bay Cities has a great selection of truffle creams/salts/oil and more olive oils, cheeses, and pastas than you can name. I still haven’t found a good time to come when I can leisurely browse the deli meats without being given the evil eye or socked in the face.

Guess this means I’ll have to keep coming back. Oh no.

Bay Cities Italian Deli & Bakery

1517 Lincoln Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 395-8279

www.baycitiesitaliandeli.com

I don’t know. Maybe it’s cuz it’s located in the far end of an empty plaza. Maybe because it’s called Ugly Roll. Maybe because it was completely empty during lunch hours. Lack of customers = low turnaround of fish. Maybe because it’s so damn cheap. I don’t know.

Whatever the reason. My first instinct was DO NOT eat fish. Do not eat anything that was once alive.

Come on Ronnie. Stay positive. Cup half full. Let’s do this.

I ordered the ugly roll combo (2 rolls, tempura, salad, fruit.) For my rolls, I picked the shrimp tempura and went against all instincts and chose the rainbow roll. Yes. Meaning all sorts of different raw fishes on top of CA roll. If I’m gonna get salmonella, I’m going all out.

As you wait for your food, there’s all sorts of manga on the walls that you can read and markers on the tables so you can draw on the wall so you can be a real-life buddha and write something profound like, “Stay high when the river runs dry” or “Ouch. ouch. i have the runs”.

The waiter awkwardly snapped me out of my daydaze and presented me with a sad looking combo. 10 pieces of rolls, random greens with feta cheese, half a orange, two shrimp tempura pieces and three veggie tempura pieces. I went straight for the shrimp tempura roll - shrimp = fried. Fried = safe. It was meh. I rather get packaged sushi from Nijiya or Mitsuwa. The rainbow roll looked more questionable. All the fish look muted, like it’s been left out the fridge. For days.

Nonetheless, I paid for it so I’m going for it. I believe the fish used was yellowtail, white fish, salmon and tuna. Not that I could tell since everything was nearly the same color. Everything was very mushy. From the seaweed to the fish. The fish melted in my mouth in a bad way. The avocado ratio was completely off and dominated the whole roll.

To be fair, the tempura was ok and so was the orange. You can’t mess up orange.

I wouldn’t go as far to say that eating here was like bracing myself through a Fear Factor challenge. But it was damn close.

11128 Palms Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 837-8500

[MmMm. Fish. picture courtesy of Steve C.]

I’m officially on the Angelini crack wagon. It hasn’t even been 24 hours and I’m already craving to go back.

I’ve been having a FML type of week and Angelini really knows how to satisfy a girl. Luckily I had the honor of coming with Erik (friend/neighbor/hunter/spearfisher) and he always raves about this place and sometimes he likes to bring in the fish/animals he’s hunted for the chefs to prepare. Nothing like eating your fresh killings. MmMm blood.

Which would explain why everyone seemed to treat him family the moment we stepped in the door :D

At first glance, the tables at Angelini are extremely close to each other but later you don’t even notice it and you never feel cramped. We started off with some prosecco and a nice variety of bread and I browsed the menu in confusion. With full page of specials, I was overwhelmed before I even opened the real menu. So when E asked if we should just let the chef cook for us, I happily agreed. We decided that five courses would suffice and yes it did. I was so stuffed toward the end, i don’t know how ANYONE can manage bigger tastings.

(Warning. I don’t know the proper terminology no do i remember everything we ate)

1) Grilled octopus salad - this was the best octopus i’ve ever had. So soft and tender but had a really nice charred smoked flavor/texture.
2) Charcuturie plate with duck prosciutto, cheek on toast tips, other meats and sausage - wow! the cheek on toast was so good. in E’s words ‘it tastes like pure fat’  
3) Tuna in orange sauce over italian rice - This was like Italian sashimi. Very good.
4) Pasta with italian sausage and white truffles - Three of my most favorite things! Very delicious and light.
5) Foie gras, melon, lobster - when this first came out i was like cool, its a piece of steak because of its charred outer crust but it was foie gras. It was sinfully fatty.. so much that it was overwhelming. Until you eat it with the melon and lobster. Mmmm. Perfect.
6) Ravioli with shrimp - The sauce deserves to be bottled and worshiped.
7) Lamb chop + melon - Top 3 lamb chops I’ve ever eaten (other two are melisse and chaya beverly)
8) Branzino (fish) and zucchini blossoms - Very good. The zucchini was amazing.
9) Cheese plate! - loads of variety but we barely finish.
10) Dessert - had the ‘tiramisu in a cup’ and some sort of cheescake/ice cream. Both good but I was so stuffed.

WTF5courses right?! The portions are amazing and it was way more food than I anticipated. Angelini has officially became one of my favorite places in LA. I was with great company. The service was so nice and we were well taken care of.

It definitely made my day. week. month.

Until next time Angelini. Until next time.