Love Life, Hate Kittens

So over the holidays - a grueling two weeks - I decided to go to a library. Yes, a library. I needed air and an excuse to put on real clothes. And shower.

(Sidenote: Yes, I know calling a 2 week vacation grueling is equivilant to saying ‘oh my, this aston martin is too fast or this house is too big. but whatever.)

Have you guys been to a library lately? It’s amazing! It’s the best place ever. I finally realized.. it’s a place with books. Free books. Not books you read and “return” to Barnes and Noble but literally free. And you can get as many as you want. And you can even rent books digitally!

The novelty!

Anyways, I started going every day getting stacks of books at a time and my librarian thinks I’m some devious creature that’s replicating her books in 24 hours and creating digital copies for the black market. I’ve explained to her that I’m just slightly neurotic and read at alarming speeds because I don’t like my mind to wander but that’s a whole different story and she now just smiles politely like I’m insane. 

I figure I should at least blog the stack I have at home right now because I can’t keep track of what I read and murder mystery covers tend to blend into each other. Enjoy my mini reviews with spoilers galore.  

1. Long Gone by Alafair Burke - Alice is the daughter of a famous filmmaker. She wants to stand on her own two feet and get somewhere in life without her daddy’s connections (calm down, Nate Archibald). I get it. God forbid you use life’s advantages. Anyway, she randomly gets asked to be a manager of an art gallery and the guy that asks her dies and she’s wanted for murder. Somehow in the plot they are also selling kiddie porn in the art and her dad thinks he raped a kid 20 years ago but it turns out he didn’t, it was his best friend that raped the kid but the dad sleeps with so many people that it never occurs to him that he didn’t do it. 

Oh, and running parellel to this plot is this missing emo teenage girl. The plots don’t weave together. If you’re curious, the missing emo girl is dead. It has nothing to do with the plot nor does anyone care. 

2/5 stars

2. Eve by Iris Johansen - It’s a trilogy. Don’t you hate it when you read an entire book only to find out there’s no resolution? Anyways, regardless, it’s a bad book. Eve Duncan is a forensic sculptor. Her kid, Bonnie, has been missing (dead?) for a while now but it doesn’t matter because you won’t find out what happens to her. We spend a couple chapters talking about Bonnie’s conception and father. Her sexy, steamy romance with John Gallo. John Gallo was said to have died in war but he’s alive. He does some stupid shit. Eve does some stupid shit. Somehow at the climax, the maid’s kid is kidnapped. She’s saved. Yes, the book is as stupid as my review. 

1/5 stars. 

3. By Reason of Insanity by Randy Singer - We have a serial murder on the loose and some lady is framed for it. She doesn’t understand why she knows details about the case and it’s getting suspicious. Sounds compelling right? No. There’s no twist or mystery. It all gets resolved in some asinine way, someone else is the killer. Oh and it wraps up by saying the only reason she had those visions is because she’s a ‘medium’. Oh ok. Fuck you.

1/5 stars.

4. Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook Shin - If you don’t like to read about old people or old people going missing or the thought of that old person being your mom being missing, do not read. Just the thought of her wandering around because she doesn’t remember where she lives or maybe even who she is. Shit. I felt so uneasy and uncomfortable after the first couple chapters that I had to skip to the end first to make sure the mom was found. She’s not. 

3.5/5 stars. 

And I’m not going to review Harlan Coben because after finishing Long Lost, I remember than I hate his writing. It’s boring. If you must know, it’s the same story - bland male lead + some bitch + unrelated subplot + terrorist shit. Done. 

I’m starting to run out of things to read. 

xoxo.

I have specific tastes. In movies, books, music, (men).  And it pretty much spans the same throughout. I like things either super campy teen-tastic (think Legally Blonde(s). Yes, the straight to DVD sequel to the sequel of Legally Blonde. With the twins. No? Ok.) or dark, horrific and angsty. Death, regret, satanic mass murders. I’m all for it. There is no middle ground.  

Which brings me to Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. If you love mysteries, who-dun-its and characters in multiple shades of grey you’ll love this.  

So I repeat, Libby Day is not a hero.  

As a child she was unhappy, poor, manipulative. As an adult, she lies, she steals, she’s depressed. And as one should be when your entire family was murdered and axed up  and you were the one who testified against your own brother when you were 7 and put him away for life.   

Libby has been living off sympathy gifts and money of others but it’s been 20 years and there’s always new pretty little girls that have sad lives too. Somewhere someone is getting murdered. As she dreads the thought of having to actually live, she gets pulled into the Kill Club where collectors and enthusiasts are obsessed with gory crime. The Kill Club is convinced that 7 year old Libby did not in fact see the murders and her 1^st hand account of events was fed to her by prosecution. Being in denial for years, Libby does not want to hear or publicly admit that she was a liar. Or worse, relive that night again. Over and over. 

But she will if it means the Kill Club will keep doling her cash to ‘find the past’. Dirty.

The book is told through different POVs never quite picking up a pattern which is quite interesting really; Libby being the most consistent. The reader is able to progress through the same days through Ben, Patti and leaves you wondering who is telling the truth. And if anyone is having a happy ending.   

Or if it really even matters in the end. 

In celebration of my manic blogging, I share with you a manic reading list. I am addicted to my kindle. Kindle money is like monopoly money. Am I late? Is there a “borrow books” app? I just realized that lately I’ve been going through 2 books a day (it’s really nothing to brag about. i’m really just neurotic and retarded in all other aspects of life. think rain man). But really. 2 books a day for 10 bucks each end up being about 100 bucks a week. WHO SPENDS 400 dollars a month on books.

So until I find a better addiction, here’s some quick reviews to let you know what’s worth buying and what’s worth “returning” on amazon.. you know.. you “bought” it “accidentally” (it works.)

Warning: Spoilers galore. 

Night Road by Kristin Hannah - If you like Lifetime Movies and crying, you’ll like this. The plot is entirely cliche. Foster kid with a heart of gold. Befriends well off family. Tragedy strikes. Foster kid takes blame. Someone gets pregnant. Someone dies. Someone has mommy issues. This book is actually written really well (hence the tears) despite the overused plot. 6/10

Endurance by Jack Killborne - Not a fan. If you like horror-porn or splattercore or whatever they call this new torture porn genre, then you’ll love this. If you like blood more than ghosts, then you’ll love this more. The plot is simple. People with type O blood are lured into this hotel where the owner traps them in her incestuous lair. Her kids are all retarded inbreds and they need blood transfusions to survive. Some kid has nipples for a face. Some have no legs. Some people die. Some people win. Texas Chainsaw + Hostel 3/10

Love You More by Lisa Gardner - Typical Lisa Gardner novel. Fantastic. Full of twists, murders, strong female characters. LG’s characters always carry over from other books so once you pick up one you’ll feel obligated to read the rest of her stories. I love crime thrillers and this one is especially character driven. The surface plot is female cop gets her ass beat, her kid disappears, seems like an open and shut domestic violence case but everyone has a hidden agenda. 8/10 

OK. This might get long. More after the jump :]

Read more

[do not continue reading if you are a male or over 12]

Bf is out of town and I promised him that I’ll keep myself busy, stay out of trouble and do something productive. So instead of feeding homeless children or going to bed early, I decide to make use of my nights by reading the entire Twilight series in an unhealthy span of two days. I’m sure deep down he’s proud and impressed. Besides, you don’t want to spoil the homeless by feeding them too often.

I admit it. I’m reading way outside of my demographic. But hey, I’m a big kid. I still find joy in Saturday morning cartoons and the occasional Wizards of Waverly Place marathon on the Disney Channel. Why you ask? Cuz I find peace in knowing that each episode gets a happy ending. I may be emotionally unavailable but I’m still a sap.

So anyways. Twilight is up my alley. Emo angst. Romance. Yes, I got giddy at the kissing scenes. Even the hinted sex was pretty naughty in a 12 year old sorta way (“Broken headboards” Whoa. You go Edward Cullen). Twilight is every girl’s dream… a beautiful, unattainable, loyal boy falls deeply, unconditionally in love with an ordinary girl and will go to any lengths to obsessively protect her even if it means dying, lying, and physically containing her… And by Book 3 (Eclipse) make that TWO boys. Oh, the joys of being Bella.

But halfway through the last book Breaking Dawn, I slammed the book down and skyped my sister to vent. WTF @ plotholes, retcons, and complete character assassination of Bella. Bella, the ordinary clumsy girl, turns into a vampire in Book 4. Turning into a vampire means you become perfect. You become agile, graceful, breathtakingly beautiful. So Bella, the insecure self doubting plain jane, turns into this complete ASSHOLE who is shitty to all her friends and is incredibly unreasonable and vain. Like any teenage girl who gets a perfect boob job and lipo.

FINE. 2 points for realism.

I get that the average tween reader doesn’t give a shit about retcon and character consistency but really? You cannot completely give your main character a whole new personality or conveniently ‘fuzzy’ up their memories to change the course of history. You can’t make things up as you go along without taking into context character growth and historical implications of their actions. ARGH! (You too, Heroes on NBC. Has Sylar stayed dead yet this season? Jesus.)

And yes. I am pissed off at a book made for tweeners.

I so deserve this. FML.

I’m having a Ben Mezrich week.

After rewatching 21 (Kate Bosworth, Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey) this weekend, I dove into Mezrich’s (Author of Bringing Down the House / MIT Blackjack story) newest ‘non fiction tell-all’ book titled The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding Of Facebook, A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, and Betrayal.

Though he caught a lot of flack for the previous book for possibly sensationalizing events that may or may not have happened, readers will undoubtedly eat it all up. Why?

Because we’re all looking to beat the system. Even if it’s fighting vivaciously through someone else. What’s not to love? Young brilliant kids becoming billionaires. Going down the path that their parents probably deemed impossible but making it happen. It’s a modern day male fairy tale.

Stuff summed the book up as “a story about Zuckerberg and his co-founders creating Facebook as a way to pick up women, party and to get into a private Harvard club. Zuckerberg is portrayed as a back-stabbing genius with a fetish for Asian women.” (lols)

Kevin Spacey has already signed on to co-produce the movie, preemptively titled The Social Network, later this year. (via)

Before you write this off as another teenage movie, Zuckerman also (allegedly) bangs groupies in the bathroom and eats koala. KOALA.

Yes. I would pay to see this.

I will add on more as nitpicky and neuro as I am but this has just been bothering me.

How will they kick off movie #7 when they omitted two crucial characters and a significant fight?!

In the ending of book #6 (Half Blood Prince), there is a battle between the death eaters and Dumbledore’s Army. Malfoy had allowed the Death Eaters including Bella and Fenrir the werewolf who has an affinity for small children into the castle (to which Dumbledore says I’m surprised that you would let these monsters into a place where your friends reside which was omitted in the movie. This part was crucial because it showed that Malfoy was working against his will and he does not have to balls to choose either side but he never meant to hurt his friends.)

Anyway, during the battle Bill Weasley is mangled by Fenrir and Fleur Delacur (from the Goblet of Fire) is still insistent that they get married because she loves him for who he is and she’s “pretty enough for the both of them.” In book 7, Harry goes to the Weasley’s and there is a good chunk of the book where they plan their mission all while Mrs. Weasley is trying to distract them and keep them apart. Not to mention, it is at the wedding when they receive news that the Ministry has falle and this marks the beginning of the hiding for all muggles and muggle supporters.

AH! AND Tonks finds Harry in HP6 on the train not Luna! And HARRY hides the Potions book in the Room of Requirement not Ginny! This is KEY. Harry has to hide it because he hides it next to the Hufflepuff Tiara which he has to find in the next book. How is he going to FIND it if he doesn’t have recollection of it?!?

All the characters are developing nicely though. Emma is really pretty.

/rant. Still love the movie tho. I can’t help that I’m a loser.

Read Top 5 Discrepencies from the Examiner - here.

After getting a nice hardcover Chanel book [Collections and Creations] for x’mas, I found that not only does it make for great fashion inspiration during lazy mornings but it is adorably cute as decor. So I figure I buy another one to put in the living room possibly the Jacques Helleu + Chanel edition.

So after doing a quick amazon search, I was like wtf. This book raised in value over a course of 5 months. Like exceedingly much. The average price for this piece from both amazon and barnes & noble was 134 dollars.

Oh snaps. I should stop using it as a freaking TRAY when I eat in my room.

I read. A lot. No, I’m not saying that in a ‘cool’ way where girls proclaim they like to read and say ‘oh i’m such a nerd.’ In no way is my reading habit endearing or do I think of myself as a nerd (way too cute). Self proclaimed titles are not whoa.

I read out of habit. Out of the sheer fact that I constantly need to be reading something. I got banned from the library because I would always return books crinkled and damp. Yes, I read books in the shower. Not like in the bathroom on the counter but holding a book with one hand while showering. Not pimpin’ I know. In fact, it’s something I’ve done as a child and it’s hard for me to break away from it. I know this is odd to some people and not charming during one night stands so I resort to reading the back of shampoo and soap bottles.

The thing my mom hates is that when I drive alone I read. WHILE DRIVING. Not just flipping through a magazine but reading novels going 65/mph on the fwy. I know. I’m sorry in advance.

I can’t buy books from the bookstore because I read them all the same day and force my friends or my mom to go return them. What?! Books are expensive :-/

I don’t even have to read new material. I read the same books over and over again. Why? Same reason I can watch movies and shows I’ve seen repeatedly. I like to know how things end.

Or if you want to be succinct, my friend calls it neurotic.

And I’m happy to announce that I found my new crack house. I recently found a One Dollar Bookstore next to Albertson’s (chicken), CVS (booze), and Yogiyo (froyo!) on Venice in Culver City.

They have a big selection and I can get 20 bucks for the price of two if I was at Border’s. Ba dow.

Please avoid the Asian girl in the swerving black Explorer.

8985 Venice Blvd

Los Angeles, 90034

(310) 280-386

The concept of Blink is in most instances, you can forgo what you learned in school.. “don’t judge a book by its cover. Look before you leap.” Sometimes all you ever need to know is in the first two seconds.

I liken this to job interviewing initially. You get a certain vibe when you walk into an interview for the first time or even on the phone while getting your appt. You already know. Call it your own personal spidey sense. It’s intuition. But you rationalize those doubts or feelings in your mind because you are taught not to make rush judgement. But it’s true. You know as you are interviewing if you want to even work for these people or just walk out but you suppress it because of so many other factors – i.e. You need a job, they may be nice to work for, it’s close to home, etc. But even if you take the job, the feelings that you initially had usually are true and you’ll end up hating your job or quitting.

It happens in relationships. You meet someone and you kinda hit it off but not really. There’s some things about them that you don’t really care for or you just think is weird. But since you like them, you rationalize it. You accept it not knowing that it’ll just become a repeating occurrence for the future relationship.

It gives an example of a girl named Alice. Prior to the blind date, Alice claims the top two qualities she looks for are men who are smart and charming. After meeting Brad [who is confident and worldly] she found extremely attractive and compatible, you can ask her again and she will change her answers to mirror the guy she just fell in infatuation with. It’s not that Alice was lying. Its just that we all like so many things that we can change OUR perceptions to fit any scenario.

The idea behind the book is not to go crazy and just do everything that comes to your head but to REALIZE that you may be right 99.9% of the time and know to trust yourself.

Of course this comes with a down side because of our personal prejudices. Cops often make fatal mistakes relying on their instincts. But in that split second, do you really have a choice?   

According to some chick on amazon [god. i should have know. she likes Sex and the City], Sammy’s Hill is the greatest thing since slice bread:

“As a devotee of Helen Fielding and Candace Bushnell, my bar is exceptionally high for fiction where the heroine’s exploits include men, alcohol, and email drama. However, Ms Gore’s DC answer to Bridget Jones rises to the occasion and made me laugh out loud many times throughout the two days where I could not put this book down. This insider’s view of politics humanizes an otherwise dry area of subject matter and made me want to learn more about what happens as the behind the scenes staffers work long hard days for their political seniors. One need not even agree with Ms Gore’s brand of health care policy to enjoy a delightful, well researched and humorous read. My favorite addition was the use of Blackberry as a verb - well done throughout the book.”

WTF. Couldn’t put it down in two days? Jesus. This is the pinnacle of light reading. Should take you a couple hours tops. Let me give you a more accurate review.

This is SATC with a dash of cliches in politics. Yes there are ‘sex’ scandals. and ‘back stabbing’ but that’s the extent in which Ms. Gore dives into politics. Maybe she wanted this book to be ‘racy’, who knows. My main problem with this novel is that the ‘heroine’ [i do say that loosely] is completely one-note. We don’t get any real description of her so we assume she’s pretty [?] She’s supposedly the idealistic young genius that has high hopes for politics but we don’t relate to her at all. Why? Probably because the other 94% of the book is about her stupid love life with another Senator’s speechwriter. 

He apparently is the love of her life that turns out to be a cheater. How surprising. Anyway, the book documents her relationship through ups and downs - his lack of attention, her stalkerish ways, you know what? No one cares. I don’t care enough about her to care about her love life. 

If this is meant to be a political satire, then it fails.

If this is meant to be chick lit on the lines of ‘Confessions of a Shop-a-holic”, then it fails even worse.

It’s like asian fusion. Pick a genre and stick with it already. Jeez.