Another fun way to tease a woman in a sexual way is to accuse her of being “naughty” in her everyday activities. For example, if a woman tells you she was just in the shower, ask her how it was. If she gives any positive response, reply with something like: “Nice shower? Interesting. What exactly were you doing in there that made it so nice? I’m curious.”
So you think kids are growing up too fast? I think they are growing up too awesome.
Hayden Wright of Chattanooga, TN, 4, is my hero.
Little Hayden woke up in wee hours and decided he was thirsty. Not only did he bypass the milk for the cold beer in the fridge but he decides to high tail out of the house and break into the neighbor’s.
Upon seeing the array of awesome presents, he decides to open them and rightfully put on a girl’s dress.
Then he proceeds to take his beer and new dress and walk the streets until police found him. The mother tries to add in a sob story angle by saying that her kid only wanted to get arrested so he can be in jail with his daddy.
Right.
Seriously. What more can you want out of this story?
“After the boy, in Yibin City, southwest Sichuan Province, had watched the animated TV series, he began to drink gasoline to become a “valiant fighter” like “Optimus Prime,” his father told the newspaper.
“He began to drink gasoline five years ago, when we found he liked smelling lighter fuel,” he said.”
“…….the boy began to steal gasoline from neighbors and was drinking more and more - two or three bottles at a time.
“Since my son started to drink gas, his IQ has dropped sharply and now he can’t figure out simple addition and subtraction,” the father said.
“Before that, he was a very smart boy, and he could even repair the television. But now he does not know the answer of 7 plus 17.”“
This is seriously worth the read just for the lols.
Excerpt from the Onion — click title to read whole article.
“……It’s just…you’re like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you’ve spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.”
- guys, if a girl asks you to help her move, she has zero respect for you. There’s a tier system. “Guys that are on my moving list” is the bottom tier.
The promo disables video embedding but please for the love of god, click on Oxygen link above to watch this trailer. It’s a new show that Oxygen is launching called “Dance Your Ass Off” which is a show with fat people dancing to lose weight. Bwaha!
It really wouldn’t be that funny if it didn’t show a fat girl smashing a whole cake from the fridge in the promo.
[thanks jenni and fox news for the lols! follow her twitter!]
1 8 Oral sex 2 1337 Elite 3 143 I love you 4 182 I hate you 5 459 I love you 6 1174 Nude club 7 420 Marijuana 8 ADR Address 9 ASL Age/Sex/Location 10 Banana Penis 11 CD9 or Code 9 Parents are around 12 DUM Do You Masturbate? 13 DUSL Do You Scream Loud? 14 FB F*** Buddy 15 Whoa Fox .. .Where’s #15?! 16 FMLTWIA F*** Me Like The Whore I Am 17 FOL Fond of Leather 18 GNOC Get Naked On Cam 19 GYPO Get Your Pants Off 20 IAYM I Am Your Master 21 IF/IB In the Front or In the Back 22 IIT Is It Tight? 23 ILF/MD I Love Female/Male Dominance 24 IMEZRU I Am Easy, Are You? 25 IWSN I Want Sex Now 26 J/O Jerking Off 27 KFY or K4Y Kiss For You 28 Kitty Vagina 29 KPC Keeping Parents Clueless 30 MorF Male or Female 31 LMIRL Let’s Meet In Real Life 32 MOOS Member Of The Opposite Sex 33 WYCM Will You Call Me? 34 MOS Mom Over Shoulder 35 MPFB My Personal F*** Buddy 36 NALOPKT Not A Lot Of People Know That 37 NIFOC Nude In Front Of The Computer 38 NMU Not Much, You? 39 P911 Parent Alert 40 PAL Parents Are Listening 41 PAW Parents Are Watching 42 PIR Parent In Room 43 POS Parent Over Shoulder or Piece Of Sh** 44 PRON Porn 45 Q2C Quick To Cum 46 RU/18 Are You Over 18? 47 RUH Are You Horny? 48 S2R Send To Receive 49 SorG Straight or Gay 50 TDTM Talk Dirty To Me
