Well, aside from falling down the stairs and haven’t ate since Tuesday…
I feel surprisingly fine. Resolved. At peace. Zen if you wanna be bougie.
I actually felt good when I went to get my stuff last night. Calm. Casual. Myself. Like day one. I’ve been so tired and worried that I’m relieved now. And I half thought that us separating would lift weight off his shoulders too, make him be himself again. So it made me feel awkward when he was being kinda distant. Look, it’s just us. It’s me. no hidden agendas. No pretenses. The one you sat watching youtube animal sex with on weekend mornings. The one that forces you to watch scary movies. The one who sold you on the miracles of packaged ramen. I’m not saying let’s try again. I’m emo not dramatic. I just want to do whatever I feel like doing. Whatever you feel like doing. Just like it always was.
So wise. That’s what falling down the stairs at 8 in the morning will do to you.
Btw. I totally pwn’d myself. I knew it all along. But it kinda makes me wonder if I set me up to fail.
One month ago -
“Not having definition for a relationship is hard on both sides. Setting rules for a FWB set up is ridiculous. Creating these boundaries takes it to a whole different platform that goes against everything we stand for. These boundaries are what keeps us sane. An out. A reason to quit.”
http://lovelifehatekittens.tumblr.com/post/57788587/can-you-imagine-us-doing-those-things-i-mean-couple-y
“If we move forward with anything, even confirming that what we have is real then the spell is broken. We become real and it’s not something either of us want. We can’t handle it. It won’t be the beginning of anything great; it’ll be the beginning of an end. Because neither of us is cut out for this. It’s only a matter of time before we self destruct.”
http://lovelifehatekittens.tumblr.com/post/56802654/im-full-of-teenage-angst
