Sides are chosen. Lines will be drawn. Heroes [11/17/2008]
Forgive me for a lackluster recap. This was indeed the most filler episode of the whole season so far.
Hiro is being brainfucked by Arthur Petrelli but Arthur having ADD gets distracted by a huge eclipse rock painting which is entirely unrealistic because how would AfroIssac climb so high to paint that shit plus there’s endless supply of paint in Africa? I think not.
Anyway, instead of totally demolishing Hiro…he does enough damage to turn him into a 10 year old which is essentially Hiro’s everyday personality anyway. No loss there.
Back in the incestuous duo of Peter/Claire, Peter is whining like a bitch about how Claire turns “into a woman” in the future [nice choice of words perv] and how she’ll lose her soul and kill him. Blah blah blah. Peter would complain about winning the lottery. Anyway, Claire’s all like shut the fuck up cuz the more you talk the less attractive you are and let’s just get out of here.
Flint and Knox show up and Claire puts on her bad ass act and helps Peter escape. She really doesn’t get this whole ‘I’m invincible’ thing does she? Claire. Listen. Not dying? Overrated. These are the words from a true emo. There are things way worse than death. Like work, school, being stuck in traffic, hangovers, being buried alive, life in general. Oh you know or how about that time when your Firemommy locked you up in that fiery warehouse thingy AND ALMOST SUFFOCATED YOU?! [/end rant]
Of course, like all characters in this show, she just can’t help herself. After the first escape, she gets cocky and tries to get buck again when Flint/Knox show up for the 2nd time. This time to get HER. Of course, being immortal doesn’t mean you’re strong or can out fight two grown men. Burn. Surprisingly, Peter shows up to rescue her playing on Flint’s stupidity by releasing gas in the space they are in. Flint fire blasts the whole place and Peter/Claire run away. Btw. This happens later but it doesn’t warrant a paragraph. Mohinder is whining about powers [again], realizes it needs a catalyst – one with pure blood, Claire realizes it may be her.
The rabbit and the tortoise. Matt is still being dumb but manages to save Mama Petrelli by going into her mind. In her mind, he encounters EvilDaphne who really isn’t Daphne so RealDaphne asked to be pulled in. Arthur is in the dream too and tells Matt women can’t be trusted [you got that right.] Matt being a sucker for love escapes from the dream when Daphne announces that ummmm. SHE LOVES HIM?!?!? Alright. I’m done with this storyline.
The zapper and the killer. Elle is being locked in a room chained to the floor. Kinky. Sylar goes into help her upon his father’s orders. Arthur told him that he too can absorb power without killing and he needs to do it by learning how to feel for others. Eem.
Elle is pissed the fuck off cuz Sylar killed her father and starts zapping the hell out of him but since he can regenerate, all she really does is singe off his clothes. Twisted version of foreplay but sure. Sylar once had feelings for Elle you see. Granted he may not have loved her but he loved who he was with her. My name is Gabriel. He tells her to forgive herself. In that he’s asking her to forgive him and in turn is forgiving himself. I can take your pain. And he does.
Former badass and the beauty queen. Nathan is taking lessons from Peter and being a indecisive little biatch. He talks to his father and says fuck you, I’m going back to Mom. Tracy lets him go but returns to Arthur cuz she’s a fucking G. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Villain alert! Arthur thinks that she’s came to ‘get rid of her powers’ like all the other pussies that come there but she’s like ‘no actually. I’m kinda growing to like them.’ She promises to bring Nathan as long as Arthur watches her back IN REAL LIFE.. You know the life that is currently going on as all these people run around saving the world. Fuck school. Fuck work. Look at me and my ballin’ ass apartment when I haven’t worked in TWO FUCKING YEARS. But I digress.
The closing shot is pretty cool. The villians walk into Arthur’s office one by one as the ‘heroes/dumbfucks’ pan out in Mama Petrelli’s room.
Villians: Knox, Flint, Sylar, Elle, Arthur, Tracy
Heroes: Nathan, Matt, Mama, Peter, Claire, Daphne.
The war is on.
