Top Chef 5: And this is the most grueling recap yet. 17 chefs. One recapper.
[stefan, eugene, jill’s respectively]
Having skipped all the season but 3 [go hung!], I am a little rusty at recapping reality shows as there are SO many characters that I really don’t give a fuck about and there’s usually too effin many people.
We are in New York this season with a super diverse crowd. And as soon as they step into the city, they are faced with their first Quickfire challenge.
Apple time.
First 9 people out of 17 that peel a hella lot of apples [24 I believe] are safe. Others have to move on to the next elimination challenge.
The Euro Duo, Fabio [husband of yelper Jessica V.] and Stefan, finish in record time. The rest follow a ways after. Richard cuts half his thumb off but manages to finish in the top 9. What a trooper. Mmmmm. Bloody apples.
The next 8 [who all look and sound the same to me] have to finely dice their apples into perfect little squares. Test of your basic knife skills. Schweet. All of them pass except for Leah [whose from NY], Radhika, Patrick [the 21 yr old student], and Lauren [who coincidentally was Patrick’s friend from school] who now have to make a dish from those same apples. Aren’t you glad Richard passed?
Leah and Radhika actually make real food [scallops or pork] while the buddies both decide to make effin salads. I mean, really? Salads? Have you EVER watched this show before? Do you have common sense?!
Anyway, Lauren gets the boot before even seeing the kitchen. Awww.
Let’s move on. The real challenge of this week was for them to go head to head cooking a dish from various neighborhoods. To be quite honest, I didn’t think I’d be recapping Top Chef so I didn’t take good notes. Be more prepared next week. I’ll only comment on those I remember. Trust me, there wasn’t many.
Jamie wins over Richard in Astoria/Greek
Jamie wins with a pan roasted sea bass and eggplant puree with wile arugula salad. Nothing really interesting about this pair up. Richard overcooks the lamb in his Lamb slider with dill, feta, orzo pasta salad combo thing. Lamb sliders? Really?
Hosea wins over Carla in Brighton Beach/Russian
Hosea makes a ‘Smoked Fish Trio with Caviar, Creme Fraiche and Apple Chutney’, all served on latkes which was pretty colorful and impressive. Carla is just too hyper and weird with her ‘spirit guides’ and what not. Her smoked trout and salmon cakes needed more salt per the judges. I can’t wait till she gets kicked off.
Stefan wins over Ariane in Long Island City/Middle Eastern
Stefan wins with his ‘Beef Skewer with Onions, and Lamb Chops with Tabouli, Hummus and Middle Eastern Yoghurt Sauce’. It was really executed perfectly. Homegirl didn’t stand a chance. While her crusted lamb was good, Ariane was just insane with her undercooked grain. I mean, this lady has 20 years of experience and you undercook grains? Step it up yo.
Jeff wins over Fabio in Ozone Park/Latin
Fabio makes a ‘Pork Chop with Mango Jalapeno Demi-Glace’ which Tom thought was the winner but was overruled. Said it needed a bit more salt. Jeff, on the other hand… Hell I don’t even remember what he cooked [but according to Bravo.com - Cuban coffee seared tenderloin, smoked plantain with black beans and rice.] But he was the dude that was hella short on time and didn’t even finish setting the plates.
Jill wins over Radhika in Jamaica/Caribbean
Jill rightfully wins with her colorful combo of jerk seasoned scallops with plantain fritters over Radhika’s jerk rubbed halibut with ginger beer cocktail.
Leah wins over Melissa in Little Italy/Italian
Leah is actually experienced in cooking Italian food and creates this ‘new age’ Italian dish that the judges rave over [Farro risotto with red snapper, topped with mushrooms.] Melissa supposedly has never cooked Italian before [really? Come on now] and makes a ribeye with tomato sauce, arugula salad and fried mushrooms. Fail.
Daniel wins over Patrick in Chinatown/Chinese
Daniel kinda wins by default on this one with his poached chicken salad with bok choy, shitake mushrooms and fried wontons as Patrick decided to make ‘Seared Salmon, Bok Choy with Black Rice Noodles’ when he has NEVER cooked with black rice noodles before. God. So cute but so dumb.
Eugene wins over Alex in Little India/Indian
Eugene [dishwasher from Hawaii] has never cooked indian food before but manages to pull off a perfectly seasoned ‘classic’ Indian dish - Dry rub lamb with basmati sweet rice, tzatziki with tandoori glaze. Alex makes lamb chop with curry stew topped with basmati rice which was good but not AS good.
Whew. In the end, Patrick and Ariane are in the bottom two while Stefan takes the first win of the season.
Silly Patrick goes home due to lack of experience and dishing out generic chinese food.
Better luck next time kiddo.
