“Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?” Yes I just quoted Graduation. Sue me.
It’s like a mix between agitated, frustration, and a tad of sadness. Strangely enough it’s growing apart from childhood friends all over again. It’s like you’re not the people you once were. Slowly as things progress, you become disenchanted, the daily tolls of life twists this dynamic up. Then it falls into a cycle of ups and downs. We can’t keep having this same fight. So I admit it, the friendship is taking it’s toll on me. Maybe I’m just over it. But it’s the lingering fact that I want this friendship to work so badly. It’s like running the mile in 4 minutes. Cooking a perfect meal. You know it can be done so you keep trying because try and recapture that feeling.
And in truth, its more than that. I feel like when everything is right and calm, I’m really at ease. It’s that unspoken peace I have with my sister. It’s calm. We can be bitchy, we can hate each other for the moment but bottom line, she’s family. What’s mine is yours. There’s nothing you say that can push me away. I can sit a whole day with her doing nothing and I’ll never complain. I guess I miss that.
But there are certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Certain things that shouldn’t be said. Certain things that break the spell. Hard to admit but there’s certain truth that is never said out of love, caring or concern but out of spite. Sure you said it to “get it out in the air.” but it doesn’t undermine the fact that you were being a bitch.
