Dear Diary, Letters to Myself circa 12/2005
Dear Diary
I promised I’d write, but its been 3 years
I’ve moved around but haven’t really gone nowhere
I trusted these jerks before I trusted in you
Poured my heart out cuz I lusted for dude
I shoulda known better than to leave my heart open
Some pain will keep you hoping, leave you hoping
Stuck with nothing but hope died choking
I know I have some issues with confronting my feelings
But being where I been in, you would be scared to give in
I look in the mirror and see nothing special
Stuck in the hell hole, with a man I can’t let go
Knowing myself, I stop calling forever
Forget it all together, and pull myself together…..
Dear Diary
Sometimes I cry, in the corner I cry
In the corner I die, scared of the foreigner inside
I can’t confront her, I’m allergic to reality
I’m taken by bliss, when ignorance is fatality
Dear Diary
Today I have nothing to say
Please make this pain go away….
Dear Diary
I can’t front it hurts to talk about them
Guess its best since I don’t know a lot about them
I mean, I see them everyday yet the distance is mental
What once was fundamental, love has turned and left so…
Mommy wasn’t any better when it came to my Dad
He made me bleed but with her turned scabs
It always starts off as an argument
To make me act an ass again
So in return, this shit keeps happening
Don’t wanna feel like this again
Yet this shit comes day after day
Wanna run away……
Dear Diary,
I inked you in black and white
Never asked if you liked color, how about red tonight
Slowly drench your pages with crimson laced fear
No need for words tonight, swallow my tears
I hear you slowly ripping, my words soon illegible
Can’t hear you no more, soon to hell I go
Tell my sister I love her, and I’m so sorry
That she’s way stronger
and she doesn’t have to join me
I don’t blame no one, this feeling is lovely
The last words of a girl who feels unworthy
