Faux NY with a LA twist.
[pics via Virginia D and Caroline K of yelp]
Meh. I’d only come here if I wanted to dump my man.
It’s pretty and impersonal. It’s distracting and packed. It’s loud enough so you can ignore him when he asks for his Jay-Z collection back or glaze over the fact that you screwed his best friend.
The food is cheap but pedestrian and mediocre enough that it won’t build up any new happy memories that you’ll reminisce on and wonder if you should give him a 2nd chance. Much like Joan’s on 3rd, BL exists on smoke and mirrors. It’s cute and elegant enough to give unsuspecting LAers a ‘downtown NY’ experience and then bamboozle you into Cheesecake Factory quality food.
We ordered a couple dishes to share. Decided to split a pizza into two flavors - Bianco and Clam. Both were really really heavy on garlic. The Bianco was rather ‘milky’ tasting possibly from the overload of ricotta and mozzarella. The arugula on top was kinda odd and unnecessary. The clam was meh. Kind of chewy.
We also got a side of marinated shrimp which was a throwaway order but ironically the best thing we had all night. It was light and refreshing in contrast to all the oily fried food we ordered.
Speaking of fried foods, the portobello fries that everyone raves over? Tell me it’s interesting after the first two. I dare you. Yea. It’s fried mushrooms. Go get that shit and your local hamburger hut. The novelty was there…… for 3 seconds.
And the chocolate souffle and calamari we ordered? Not even worth mentioning. In a blind taste test, I wouldn’t be able to separate Bottega Louie’s food from Olive Garden.
If you have a horrible palate but want to “feel” like you’re in a chic New York hot spot for a night, come to BL. If you ignore the surroundings outside BL, the lack of crowds and energy on the streets, the bums, and the low rent food, it’s EXACTLY like NY.
….and I’m really Megan Fox.
Bottega Louie
700 S Grand Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90017
(866) 418-9162
