Teeth. It’s a faux feminist’s wet dream.
I hate this movie.
To be fair, its not like there’s a whole lot of potential. It’s basically a journey of a girl that discovers a weapon (teeth) in her vagina and out of selfishness and immaturity she goes and kills people. The main character, Dawn, is the head Jesus freak who vows to wear a promise ring until she’s married. Unfortunately being a teenage girl, she has all these sexual urges that she must overcome. Not only is she trying to resist her own urges but some boys tempt her and all goes to hell.
While some might take this as a twisted female empowerment movie, this is anything but. Mind you, the guys in this movie are not complete perverts outside of your normal teenage boy. Dawn seduces these boys by swimming almost nude and making out with them but gets into her vaginal chomping rage when the boy dares to go further. Before you anti rape activists say anything, no I’m not saying she’s “asking for it” or she “deserves” it but come on…it’s also called personal responsibility. If you want to go 99% of the way, that is fine with me (and god. Obviously) but don’t feign innocence when the guy wants to go the extra 1%. You want to stop, fine. But don’t take on the holier than thou attitude and chomp off someone’s penis, like HOW DARE THEY THINK I WANTED TO HAVE SEX? *pulls on panties in a huff*
Take Ryan - her 2nd sexual partner. Oh she has many in a span of 3 days) for example - she was perfectly fine having sex with him and enjoying it until she found out that he was not Prince Charming and he had placed a wager on breaking her ‘chastity vow’. That’s when she decided to bite off his penis. So it was ok to break your OWN vows but since you feel like you’ve been played you want to take revenge? OK. Makes a whole lot of sense.
Teeth fails as a comedy, fails as a horror film, and definitely fails as an ironic social comentary as I’m sure they were trying to create. As one reviewer has mentioned, if you are a woman that feels liberated after watching this, I suggest you seek professional help.
