Love Life, Hate Kittens

Let me break down the plot for you, which even in theory sounds retarded.

God hates the world and wants a do-over. God sends ArchAngel Michael down to kill a trailer trash girl who happens to be carrying the Messiah unbeknownst to her. Michael is a pussy and has a lot of “love” in his heart and cannot bear to see God having a bitch fit so he rebels and cuts off his own wings. I assume it’s like turning in your badge if you’re a cop. So he goes to save the baby in a small gas station/diner in Arizona and battles against God’s crew ensues just so the trailer trash girl and her bf can raise the Messiah to bring good back in the world. WTF.

Um. I don’t know the operations of God but if he wanted to destroy that chick and her kid, I’m sure he can just send a bolt of lightning down or set her on fire. The “action” scenes are retarded because God is sending down all these angels in the form of deranged zombies with dolphin teeth (yes. apparently dolphin teeth is the mark of an angel) and the band of trailer trash folks defend themselves with guns???

WTF. YOU DON’T BRING GUNS TO A GOD FIGHT.

Anyways, they manage to fend off God’s army of zombies but then God supposedly was like oh shit, I’m losing and sends down ArchAngel Gabriel to finish the job. So GAYBRIEL comes down decked in his steel wings and dominatrix outfit decked with a studded bat. AND LOSES. You don’t lose in that kind of outfit. You just don’t. Oh btw, spoiler alert. The trailer couple manage to pop the kid out and they are armed with machines guns to prepare for the trip ahead AGAINST GOD as they ride off into sunset. Proving that God is incompetent and a shitty employer. /The end.