Love Life, Hate Kittens

So last year over Memorial Day, I got a blast from Eharmony saying they would waive application fees. Shiiiet. I’m Chinese. Did you say FREE? Hell. This is the girl that has multiple business cards from ‘free’ Vistaprint offers and signs up for maxipad samples and flax seed oil. I’m so in.

So after an annoying 20 minute survey, it came down to this, “What is your relationship status?”

Now. If you know me, I can’t lie. I really can’t. So I answer from the drop down box “I’m in a relationship (kinda) but looking.”

Well guess what? The next page said “I’m sorry. Currently we are not catering to people of your category. Have a nice day.” So I WTF’d and panicked and hit the back button to change my answer. But the page expired and I was unable to take the ‘quiz’ again due to the fact they logged in my email already. FUCK YOU EHARMONY. FUCK you for having trick options.

/rant.

Anyway. So I thought it would be fun to hit up Millionare Matchmaker (it’s free to sign up.lol) but they need you to choose a ‘username’. I hate that shit. I need something that conveys I’m asian and young to attract rich old white men. I figure dropping dimsum, lotus, or panda would work.

Suggestions?