Love Life, Hate Kittens

Excerpt from the Onion — click title to read whole article.

“……It’s just…you’re like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you’ve spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.”

- guys, if a girl asks you to help her move, she has zero respect for you. There’s a tier system. “Guys that are on my moving list” is the bottom tier.