Love Life, Hate Kittens

If you love life, you should avoid this place.

I was sucked into the fuckass madness because someone tempted me with uni pasta. UNI PASTA I tell you. The uni gods are looking over me. No more driving down to the south bay for Spoonhouse. Thank you Uni God.

Except. It was a major FAIL.

First of all, there is a 15 dollar CC minimum. WTF. OK That’s fine. I’ll deal with it. As long as I get my sweet, sweet uni. I ordered an iced tea (which was never refilled) and 6 dollar crab croquettes along with my uni pasta.

They give you a complimentary salad which had lots of shredded carrot and wilted lettuce and a orange dressing. Gross. My crab croquettes came shortly after and it was sitting in spaghetti sauce + soy sauce. Oh gross. But I ate it anyway.

Finally. On to the big show. The UNI UNI UNI pasta that was promised to be so ‘creamy’ and better than ‘spoonhouse’. OK Wait. Why is it sitting in soy sauce. It’s supposed to be a light cream based sauce mixed with creamy uni. WTF is this. Granted there is a shit load of uni but it was weird in color. Maybe tainted by the 8 gallons of soy sauce. I tried my best to finish but i couldn’t. I was going to have a heart attack. See pics.

OMG. Everything started to piss me off from the waiter to the stupid fucking sealife mural on the ceiling. FUCK YOU DOLPHINS. FUCK YOU. In fact, I was so god damn pissed off I wanted to run some children over as I was leaving the parking lot. FUCK YOU CHILDREN.

Oh, not to mention in additino to a  24 dollar lunch (tax and tip included), valet is MANDATORY.

Fuck you Uni God. with no vaseline.

Blue Marlin

(310) 445-2522