[via houston’s. awkward and unappetizing i know. but its really good]

I have nothing against chains but I do have a huge problem with slow service. Houston’s, you’re located in the heart of Santa Monica with a tremendous volume of lunch patrons. Yes, I’m sure half of those patrons include plastic cougars who have the time and patience to wait 40 minutes for their food but think about me! Yes, me! The lowly working girl (no. not THAT kind of working girl) who only has an hour for lunch. I already had to drive into Santa Monica and battle for parking in the always ‘full’ 2nd street structure. You took so long my friend had to pack her order to go :(

And slightly on a tangent but I don’t know what gave you the impression that I was thirsty but you kept bringing over ice teas when my glass was still half full. Maybe you’re the half empty type of girl. Who knows. But sitting at a table with 6+ cups for 2 makes for a very awkward setting. Other patrons might think we had imaginary friends. Which is like totally cool if you were 6 or insane but still.

But as much as I hate to love you. I still do. Your Roast Beef French Dip was delicious. Slightly toasted buttery bun with mounds and mounds of soft, juicy roast beef. It held together well for the dippin’. Mmmm. Since I am on a diet, I got your seasonal spaghetti squash with mushrooms as my side instead of fries. It was very delicious minus the mounds of sea salt on top. Which is totally fine. High blood pressure sits well on my petite frame :-/

By the way, back to the lowly working girl thing. I don’t know if I can come here anymore. You do realize you started your sandwiches and salads at $17 right? And you do realize your lunch entrees start at $27. 27 dollars. Yikes. 

Might have to give that working girl thing another shot. Yea. The other kind.

Houston’s Restaurants
202 Wilshire Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 576-7558

[pics via Virginia D and Caroline K of yelp]

Meh. I’d only come here if I wanted to dump my man.

It’s pretty and impersonal. It’s distracting and packed. It’s loud enough so you can ignore him when he asks for his Jay-Z collection back or glaze over the fact that you screwed his best friend.

The food is cheap but pedestrian and mediocre enough that it won’t build up any new happy memories that you’ll reminisce on and wonder if you should give him a 2nd chance. Much like Joan’s on 3rd, BL exists on smoke and mirrors. It’s cute and elegant enough to give unsuspecting LAers a ‘downtown NY’ experience and then bamboozle you into Cheesecake Factory quality food.

We ordered a couple dishes to share. Decided to split a pizza into two flavors - Bianco and Clam. Both were really really heavy on garlic. The Bianco was rather ‘milky’ tasting possibly from the overload of ricotta and mozzarella. The arugula on top was kinda odd and unnecessary. The clam was meh. Kind of chewy.

We also got a side of marinated shrimp which was a throwaway order but ironically the best thing we had all night. It was light and refreshing in contrast to all the oily fried food we ordered.

Speaking of fried foods, the portobello fries that everyone raves over? Tell me it’s interesting after the first two. I dare you. Yea. It’s fried mushrooms. Go get that shit and your local hamburger hut. The novelty was there…… for 3 seconds.

And the chocolate souffle and calamari we ordered? Not even worth mentioning. In a blind taste test, I wouldn’t be able to separate Bottega Louie’s food from Olive Garden.

If you have a horrible palate but want to “feel” like you’re in a chic New York hot spot for a night, come to BL. If you ignore the surroundings outside BL, the lack of crowds and energy on the streets, the bums, and the low rent food, it’s EXACTLY like NY.

….and I’m really Megan Fox.

Bottega Louie

700 S Grand Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90017
(866) 418-9162

www.bottegalouie.com

[foie gras tuna dish - courtesy of Helen K of yelp. Fan her!]

I love Joe’s for many reasons. With their open kitchen, welcoming space, and that quirky “tucked in the heart of Abbott Kinney” vibe, I also remember it as one of the nicest and more romantic brunches that I’ve been treated to. And that being said, it was nearly a year ago (!), so I was excited to finally return for dinner.

Street parking is still a bitch in AK area. Either bring cash for valet or park so far you don’t remember where you parked (not that it happened of course :-/) Joe’s had a good amount of hustle and bustle for a weeknight.

We decided to order plates to share rather than do full entrees. Our waiter (who looked like Doc Brown) was very friendly and gave me a great wine pairing with my meal.

We split it up into three course (two dishes per course).

1) Grilled shrimp with beets special — I have no idea what it’s officially called or what it all entails but it was delicious! I personally love shrimp and it’s an easy meat to fuck up - namely overcooking. But Joe’s does shrimp well, and the beets were a nice complement to the dish and I don’t particularly like beets. Mmmm.

Grilled Octopus with Greek Salad, Pine Nut Charmula, Kalamata Olive Dust, Sicilian Olive Oil — oh you silly sea creatures that are hard to cook. As with shrimp, octopus is another one of those meats where it gets tough quick. Joe’s octopus was slightly tough but didn’t deter from its nice smoky flavoring and simple greek salad.

2) Grilled Ahi Tuna with Seared Hudson Valley Foie Gras, Rosti Potato, Red Wine Herb Sauce — fantastic. I cannot get enough of foie gras. It was seared perfectly and went unexpectedly well with the tuna and potato. Great flavors.

Porcini Mushroom Ravioli with Wild Mushroom Parmesan Broth, Italian Parsley — If there’s ravioli on the menu, I’m getting it. No questions asked. This undoubtedly was one of the best dishes of the night! Well cooked pasta, flavorful earthy sauce, huge portion…must have.

3) Crispy black cod and apple stuffed quail. The two worst dishes of the night. Very disappointing. I’m used to quail with very crispy skin and easy to eat or at least cut in a way that we can easily take apart but noooo. It was literally the whole bird. Slightly undercooked and even though the waiter suggested that we use our hands, it was still very awkward.

In contrast, the crispy black cod … wasn’t crispy. It was under-seasoned paired with daikon broth which is pretty much flavorless in itself. Overall meh dishes.

I wish our meal had ended on a higher note but it was a great meal nonetheless.

1023 Abbot Kinney Blvd
Venice, CA 90291
(310) 399-5811

Oddly enough. I’ve seen someone like that up close in real life. Complete with the dog and everything. IN A BAR.

Anyway, this is brilliant. Why stay in Barbie’s shadow when you can be SO MUCH MORE FABULOUS. Fuck her and her 186 jobs. Whatever.

Order yours today here.

[pic via Charrise N. of yelp]

Hello winter weather. Hello pho.

It’s that time of year again. Holidays. Hot pots. Pho and Ramen weather.

1) Pho Show — With a name like Pho Show, half the fun is in the name (and making corny 40 Year Old Virgin jokes. Easy Steve Carell.) There’s a steady lunch crowd but never had a wait.

I usually go with the regular combination pho with tripe, tendon, brisket, meat balls, and rare beef and eggrolls. Sounds like a lot? Don’t worry. You only get two pieces of each listed meat. Oh no! Worried that you’ll have a horrible ratio of noodles to meat? Oh, don’t worry. You only get a small handful of noodles too. Meh. You get a weight watcher’s XS portion of everything. Sweet. God’s way of telling me to ease up fatass or do more coke like a responsible adult.

The eggrolls are measly and strangely similar to those at chinese restaurants rather the more traditional flavors that viet eggrolls carry - there’s no vermicelli, pork flavor, and those crunchy black things.

But the question is, is it still passable? Let me phrase my answer carefully… with enough sriracha and condiments, you can turn any bland bowl of broth into an acceptable meal. Being one of the only 3 pho places on the westside, I suggest you start learning how to mask your tastebuds. adjust accordingly.

4349 Sepulveda Blvd
Culver City, CA 90230
(310) 398-5200

Regular bowl of pho starts at $7.50.

2) Pho 99 Noodle and Grill — Pho is very much like fast food. Places like Pho So 1 and Golden Deli have your food to you within 3 minutes after you order and it’s understandable. The broth should be premaid, the noodles set to go, the meats and veggies all lined up like its the Subway line. What could be the hold up?

At Pho 99, the wait for a table is 20 minutes. As more and more people crowd around the door and more and more tables clear, you’d expect it to rotate in a cycle. But no. Pho 99 is grossly understaffed with three people in a collaborative (…i’m being nice) effort to bus tables, take orders, play the host, and manage the take out station. The tables are left dirty for 20 minutes on end and you get no direction whether to seat yourself or to wait.

After another 20 minutes of waiting to order and another 15 for your food, you finally dive into what seems like the best bowl of pho ever. It could be starvation, it could be the msg but it is enough to make you shun Pho Show forever. The eggrolls are substantial and piping hot. The broth is hearty and full of flavor. It’s almost enough to make you forget that you spent 50 minutes of your lunch hour waiting. for pho.

Regular bowl of pho starts at $6.95.

11819 Wilshire Boulevard
Suite 106B
West Los Angeles, CA 90025

(310) 312-7881

(310) 312-7881

If you’re by a Mitsuwa, go pick up the Hello Kitty “Three Apples” collector’s book that comes with an awesome canvas tote! Less than 20 bucks :D

And if you’re in Culver City. Swing by Royal/T for the three week HK extravaganza!

What is Three Apples?

Three Apples is an exhibition event celebrating Hello Kitty!

Hello Kitty has graced everything from coin purses, erasers, and gum to toasters, couture, and diamond jewelry. She has long been a muse to artists & designers worldwide and has brought smiles to fans 35 years. Now, in honor of her 35th anniversary, Sanrio is proud to bring a very special celebration to the US!

Three Apples is a multi-dimensional exhibition and celebration of all things Hello Kitty; the first ever event of its kind in the US!  The celebration takes place over a three-week residence at the Royal/T café / shop / art space in Culver City, CA. Three Apples is open to the public, free of charge and will feature an art exhibition, unique product and design displays, pop-up shop, and special events for fans of all ages – all celebrating Hello Kitty!

It’s on! For three weeks straight - please check events page for break down of daily events.

Royal/T Cafe

8910 Washington Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232-2326
(310) 559-6300

10.24.09

Dear Diary,

Hello. Tonight/Today (it’s 12AM) was the Nike Human Race (fantastic organization btw and easy easy parking) and the first time I’ve ran in probably 3-6 months. I’ve been lying to myself. Yoga is not exercise. Well, at least not sporadic yoga anyways.

And anyways. how fucking far is 10K? It’s 6 freakin miles. I bet my mom can run 6 miles.

Famous last words.

Oh. Happy bunny. How naive. Little do I know the pain that awaits. And yes I know I’m wearing six different colors. Don’t judge. I don’t have a plethora of running shoes.

I love our socks!

Awww. Hi Helen and Jenny! Yes. I WILLL do the 10K instead of the 5.

God damn. Look at this crowd. They said 8000 people signed up?

12AM and off we go through the streets of USC.

(……this is easy.)

(……whoa Jenni runs fast)

(……oh no. can’t breath…)

“5Kers… TURN LEFT HERE. ONCE AGAIN 5Kers”

Yes. Sue me. I bitched out. I saw the left turn and took it. I know what you’re thinking. 5K is like 3.3 miles. Well, it was a long 3.3 miles. If it wasn’t for the little kids and grandmas still running strong, I would have quit and took a detour into a frat house.

Proof of finish. USC X Nike Collabo Dog Tag

Am I excited about doing another race? Sure. Even though it makes me disoriented and chinky eyed after.

Three things I love in this world — Gossip Girl, Chanel, and Karl Lagerfeld.

“Karl Lagerfeld, the eccentric German fashion tsar, has waded into the debate about size-zero models by saying that people want to look at “skinny models” and classing those who complain as “fat mummies”.

Lagerfeld, 71, was reacting to the magazine Brigitte’s announcement last week that it will in future use “ordinary, realistic” women rather than professional models in its photo shoots. He said the decision by Germany’s most popular women’s magazine was “absurd” and driven by overweight women who did not like to be reminded of their weight issues.”

Preach. (read more)

Using fat models is almost as absurd as the French regulating a “warning” label on all photoshopped images. “Failure to include the disclaimer would result in a $50,000-plus fine or up to half the cost of the ad campaign, potentially a huge threat.” My take is: if the person is dumb enough to believe that the photo was NOT photoshopped then they deserve to have low self esteem.

[photo via Eileen T.]

me: What’s for dinner?
him: Salad.
me: Oh.
him: What about you?
me: Eh. I have a cucumber I have to eat.

10 minutes later

me: Fuck it. I’m biting the bullet. We’re going for pho.

*crowd cheers*

Being sick for the past week, I was in dire need of good pho, which means choosing to drive to the south bay or hit up the SGV. The SGV obviously being the better choice. Now, the Chineser in me tells me all Asian places in the SGV close at 2am right? So imagine my surprise when the recommended Saigon Flavor was CLOSED! CLOSED at 8:30pm! Who eats this early?! In a mad panic, we detour to Golden Deli barely slipping in the door at 8:59.

I seriously felt like such an asshole. Everyone else is wrapping up their meal. Who goes and orders two bowls of pho with extra beef balls and extra noodles, a side of charbroiled pork, AND eggrolls 2 minutes after closing? Luckily this place is quick. Within 3 minutes of ordering, all our food was served piping hot. I got the special pho with tripe, tendon, rare beef, beef balls, etc. Thank you pho gods for granting my wish. Two other people got turned away 5 minutes after we sat down. Ouch. Enjoy your del taco tonight.

Maybe it’s because I had my mind set on pho. Maybe it’s because I felt so accomplished for making it here on time but the broth was absolutely mind-blowing. I was sweating and slurping down the noodles as fast as I could. Felt like I was detoxing. The side of pork was delicious with green onions and garlic bits. The egg roll was greasy but equally amazing. And guess what? All that food for less than 25 bucks? Where else can you find this kind of satisfaction?

My only dilemma is I can never decide if I want pho or try something else since the pho is so good and I know I’m hardly in the area so my choice is crucial. Fortunately, that is an awesome dilemma to have. Next time I’ll just order both and pretend that my ‘friend’ flaked on me and lord knows its bad to waste food.  

Btw. Serious question: Asian gangsters don’t eat pho past 9?

(626) 308-0803

The Rundown is officially covering New York City!

“Start spreading the news: The Rundown is coming to New York.

We’re bringing our local expertise to the five boroughs and beyond, from up-and-coming Brooklyn bands to under-the-radar Chelsea galleries. We’ll uncover the subway’s best buskers and review sign-free restaurants worth your dime.

Get a couple of east coast buddies to sign up here during October, dropping your email address as the referrer. Not only will you be giving your friends the gift that keeps on giving, you’ll also be entered to win some free NYC-themed swag.

First prize? We’ll fly you and a guest to New York for our ludicrously cool launch party next month. We’ll pick up your hotel and dinner, too. Other prizes bring New York to you: H&H Bagels and lox, a shopping spree at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills, and concert tix when NYC’s finest bands come to town.”

If you haven’t already, sign yourself up and get your Brooklynites/Upper East Side friends to do so asap. Not only will you find yourself in the know when you visit your long distance booty call but hell, winning free swag won’t hurt either.