Love Life, Hate Kittens

Do you think about me now and then? Cuz I’m coming home again.

Maybe we can start again.

Speaking of vacations. I’m back in LA soon. Weird and panicky feeling like a tourist in my own city.

But in other news. Macau is definitely scheduled for early 2011. 1500 flight + 8 days of hotel.

Yes, I’m coming home again.

day 4. a photo of the last place you went on holiday

My last vacation was in Seattle with the boy’s family. It’s a bit of a tradition now since we’ve done it a couple years in a row. Yes. I know I’ve been to Vegas a couple times since then but when is Vegas considered a vacation. And it’s not like I remember it clearly anyway :-/

Some of it feels strangely adult. You know, the whole traveling to the pseudo in laws for the holidays. The weight of it. That you have another family now. Some other family that you can depend on. Yet, some part of me will always feel out of place. Like I’m on the wrong set of an ABC Family sitcom.That I’ll never quite get over…not depending on people and willing to accept.. things. gifts. help.

That somehow I take a strange satisfaction knowing that I’ve always taken care of myself and always can. Sure, one man wolf pack can apply here.

The stark reality is, I’m lucky to have a family. A oddly disjointed family that I love very much and a new perfect family that accepts who I am and takes me in as their own. Remember how I would always go on and on about how we never celebrate holidays and Christmas was met with Pizza Hut? They do everything. They bake turkeys, cookies. Talk.

It’s everything I ever wanted out of life. and all I ever wanted was… everything.

PS. Oh, the picture itself. Is self explanatory. 

Day 3: A photo that makes you happy

Make that THREE photos that make me happy. I finally organized my closet. Yay me.

Yes. I only wear three colors and I have no qualms buying the same t-shirt. a billion times. 

Day 2: a photo of you a year ago.

my bangs looked popping that night.

and I can’t believe it’s already been a year.

I better find your love/ I better find your heart/ I bet if I give all my love then nothings gonna tear us apart

Two notes.

Drake the singer > Drake the rapper. 

and this is NOT what envisioned when I listened to this song. What kind of City of God fuckery is this :-/ and why would he fall in love with her? She’s a whore.

this is impossible but thanks joyce.

30 days of photographic memories

day 1. your facebook profile photo
day 2. a photo of yourself a year ago
day 3. a photo that makes you happy
day 4. a photo of the last place you went on holiday
day 5. a photo of you
day 6. a photo that makes you laugh
day 7. a photo of someone you love
day 8. a photo of your favourite band/musician
day 9. a photo of your family
day 10. a photo of you as a baby
day 11. a photo of your favourite film(s)
day 12. a photo of you
day 13. a photo of your best friend(s)
day 14. a photo of one of your favourite family members
day 15. a photo of you and someone you love
day 16. a photo of you at the last party you went to
day 17. a drunk photo of you
day 18. a photo of one of your classes
day 19. a photo of you on a school trip
day 20. a photo of something you enjoy doing
day 21. a photo of you standing up
day 22. a photo of your town
day 23. a photo of your friend as a baby
day 24. a photo of you that your hair looks nice in
day 25. a photo of a night you loved
day 26. a photo of your favorite weekend
day 27. a photo of last summer
day 28. a photo of what you ate today
day 29. a photo of someone you find attractive
day 30. a photo of you when you were happy.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I wanted to love Scott Pilgrim in the same vein that I wanted to like the 3rd season of Gossip Girl, in the same way I hyped up Ninja Assassin, bought the DVD, cheered with unnecessary enthusiasm during fight scenes and gushed whenever Rain took off his shirt (all the time.) I wanted to like it hard.

I get you Scott Pilgrim. Or maybe I don’t. I’m not sure anymore in this vast sea of irony. I agree with the other reviewer who said, “Scott Pilgrim is Twilight for boys.” Much like Twilight, SP is a … fireball of hyper-stylized fan service. And there’s nothing wrong with that, you don’t see me rolling my eyes every time Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off. Dirty. But still.

I guess I expected….a watchable movie?

I mean, visually, it was cute. It was a cute “experience”. Much like me gushing at a well made youtube video with someone’s incredible movie maker skills. Michael Cera was cute. The nostalgic callbacks were cute. Knives was cute. Ramona was cute. The cutest, in fact, coming from a diehard MW fan (catch the pun? No? ok). I mean, wasn’t she just darling in Deathproof?

And speaking of? Is it unfair to bring up Tarantino? SP was like a lovechild between (500) Days of Summer and Kill Bill but not as entertaining, not as charming, not as fun. I love Tarantino. I love Kill Bill, I love Grindhouse. I love campy fan service, and over the top indulgences. Unfortunately SP draws a lot of parallels with KB but not in a good way.

Sidenote: The dialogue was worse than watching Juno on repeat. Quirky, intelligent, witty you’re not. And Jason Schwartzman. You will never be funny.

So I tactfully told my friend this morning who LOVED the movie.

Me: It just dragged….It got so repetitive.

Jia: …………….she had 7 exes.

Touche.

But come on, The Bride had a laundry list of enemies. I didn’t get bored watch her slice of Lucy Liu’s head and ninja knifing Vivica A Fox. I didn’t get bored because it was brilliant. A perfect mix between wit, visuals and entertainment.

So yea. Back to Scott Pilgrim vs The World (yes, I’m done busting nuts over Tarantino), I think this movie could have been great if it didn’t try… so hard? Personally, I felt that I was watching a cheap sitcom waiting for the next 80s callback so we can all smile fondly and get a nostalgic tingle in our loins. Scott Pilgrim sacrificed a genuine shot at being a good movie by piecing pseudo witty dialogue between fun comical effects instead of doing the opposite I suppose.

I feel like I’ll get more satisfaction and enjoyment reading the comic books.

All I Want is Everything.

Angelababy.

Next time we get lost and we will be.

Reading old poetry (again. lol. i’m so in love with myself. sorry) and really liked this piece a did a couple years ago. Yes, it’s really dickish and pretentious to call stupid poems “pieces” but its my blog so there.

And I also found this write up I did (not going to post) on my favorite installation piece by Damien Hirst, No Arts; No Letters; No Society.

And I always envisioned that installation when I wrote this poem. I could only find a small pic but google it yourself. It’s like these medicine cabinets draped with crucifixes. Pretty neat. 

____________________________________________________

Just as we step back from the brink of insanity
You drag me back with your manic dependency
We walked into the cycle again
I know I said “I sorta like the pain
And the sting of the cuts keeps me a little insane”
But this is just crazy
What is this the sixth or tenth time
Your sweet talk dwindles down to the same
Six or ten lines
So tell me why

I trust you once more and
I hold your hand as we walked through the mental floor
Seeing street signs of the past and twice forgotten days
It’s all so familiar
This twice forgotten maze
Maybe I don’t want to remember
Maybe I can’t forget
Maybe I can’t let go of our last trip
It’s like déjà vu times ten
But we keep walking
And we’ll trip
Again and again
But we keep walking
You’d think one of us would be smart enough
To stop
Maybe I think too highly of us
Maybe I don’t
Maybe that’s my problem
I only believe in us when I’m near you
When away
My thoughts start to wander
My love starts to fade

I never lie to you, unless we’re lying apart

____________

it ends abruptly cuz i read it today and hated how it end. and i will revise it.